Tribute.

 The shrill and mournful cry of a eagle perched on the roof of the apartment next to ours  pierced my ears and stirred my heart as i entered my flat at noon.It was looking steadily towards  East and at times North and at times at Southern direction.It kept emitting its mournful cry for 10 minutes .

I instantly remembered  with sadness that the only surviving pilot of the horrible helicopter crash had passed away the day before.

I remember hearing its mournful cry the day after the chief of defense along with his wife and several other defense personnels died burning in a helicopter that had crashed here,in Tamil Nadu.

I felt terrible that the chief, a man from snow capped Himalayas up North had to meet his untimely end here deep down South.

It was heartening to note that people from all walks of life had lined the streets for nearly50 kms to have a glimpse of the ambulances transporting the mortal remains  of the brave men who guard us., so as to pay their respects and to register  their gratitude .

On the day of the funeral the most impactful event was the gun salute.The rhythmatic loading of cannons by smartly dressed cool headed young men and the sound of its booming blast ,that covered the entire area with thick clouds of smoke, gave a glimpse of the life army men lead , the life of constant flirtation with death, which the CDS and others accompanying him would have led.

A befitting tribute to the defenders of this country for protecting us till their last breath.

Havana Syndrome.

In a article in its  newspaper  dated 22.9.21 the Times of India  has finally acknowleged the existence of targeted micro wave  energy weapons by stating that such weapons were causing inexplicable health issues like  sudden dizziness, nausea , buzzing sound in ears ,pain leading to immobilisation to CIA agents and US diplomats around the world.

I have been blogging about the existence of such non lethal[that is they are used for causing grievous injuries and not for killing] micro wave weapons as i am a direct recipient of its terrible torture since 2012 , but Indians believe only White man's views as gospel truth.

I am sure that they have read my blogs .It has taken them 9 years to publicly acknowledge the existence of such weapons, but that to in a guarded manner.,that is quoting foreign media and US.govt.

The US govt has dismissed the symptoms as inexplicable health issues .It is acting too innocent like as if they donot know about such weapons ! They were using them since 1940.

This syndrome has said to have struck  a intelligence officer accompanying CIA boss on his recent visit to India after the Kabul bombing incident.The symptoms mentioned are all similar to what i have felt on and off since 2012 .Apart from experiencing all the pain nausea etc i also  used to hear that irritating buzzing sound several times in middle of the  night in my right ear making me wake up from sleep.At times this would follow me inside my house even during the day .From 2014 onwards i stopped hearing this .

Two reasons were given by the paper quoting sources, for some of the CIA operatives and US diplomats   to experience this inexpilicable illness.

The top reason given was that the intel's were succumbing to the side effects of the hazardous objects they use in surveilliance.

Secondly rivals of US viz Russia or China may be targetting the intel's and diplomats when they go out of US .

When i read the top reason viz illness was due to side effects of handling hazardous weapons constantly for survelliance , I felt very happy.because I can never prove this evidevce less torture unless the person himself turns up as a witness .So impossible to get justice from courts.

But they have to be punished for what they have done to me .So I am gleeful that one day or the other those handling these  weapons that emit hazardous magnetic waves, radio signals and micro waves on me would be struck down by the side effects /emmisions of the dangerous weapons they weild, writhe in excruiting pain and become immobile, 

A remark made by CIA chief made me laugh.He was expressing astonishment at his companion being identified as a intelligence agent ! This was dutifully reported ! How funny ! Would a human activist or a green warrior accompany a spy chief instead of his underling?Touching innocence.

I later read in Organiser magazine that the said Intel also travelled to Pakistan and fell ill only in US.and CNN deliberately didn't mention this information so as to show India in a bad light. Possible.CIA is notorious .                                                                                                                       I  have several theories and am 90 % sure as to who is the real culprit but will not delve further as  that would be exhibiting stockholm syndrome.

 I am happy with the top reason given for this illness--Havana syndrome.viz side effects of  handling micro wave weapons.That is some thing to celeberate.

Women's rights, social evils and integeration---

 I am expected to write on all the above.Joke! Cruel Joke.Such suggestions givers must be blind  or insolent.

First and foremost I am not enjoying the basic rights that every other women does.There are persons peering at me from every nook and corner of my house , be it kitchen or dining room or hall .To top it all there are persons peering into my bedroom and rest room!The Govt allows it or does it or is turning a blind eye .They read my diary apart from reading my mind.The fact that my mind is read is shown by enactments or make total strangers mouth it ! Isn't this right out of a horror movie?This aspect freezes my mind in panic and blocks my free thinking process .

One popular person whose  katha kalathshebhams are avidly heard  keeps telling with wonder how one of god's greatest gift to mankind is that one cannot read another persons thoughts. Will he believe me that such a gift taken for granted by all has been forcibilly taken away from me and that horrific fact  is rubbed on me with  a lot of derision on and off for the past 10 years?He or any one reading this will not believe this since if they did it will strike terror in their hearts .Does this really happen? Aern't we a free society and democratic country?Are all the human rights sham?It is not for a major lot but for few persons like me and the claustrophobic life i am leading since 2012 is real.There could be other persons who are subjected to this sort of torture but  they may not know that there life is being trifled with.

Even a Afghan woman  under Taliban is freer than me.she has to wear purdah only outside her house whereas i was terrorrised that is a hindu woman with knowledge of Law,  in 50' s,to be constantly covered in my own house and not even bare my body even whilst bathing .This was done after blasting my forhead in 2012 and thus putting the fear in me that  my body  in my house with my husband and son around[without their knowledge] could be invaded by strangers at will .And continued the advantage gained viz my attention and fear by tapping on ceiling when i was changing clothes or bathing  etc.Laws, morals and rights be damned.

I was and am expected to write on the lack of rights to Muslim women and  atrocities on SC 's and Muslim men.It is ok for political masters to show a very kind human face in such matters becuase they live in a realm much much above than mine .Where as i am living  in the ground level  for the past 10 years, I have faced hostile glares , derision , contempt and disregard and even abuses from the above mentioned persons and yet i am expected to forgive and forget and write sob stories and hold thier hands on their bertherns miserable conditions.when it hits the head lines'.

I am in the receiving end of  hostility from poor to middle class living around me .One muslim family which is well to do ,has  for the past 10 years would look up at me only to glare at me.I wouldn't bother if they didn't recognise me but they would make it a point to glare at me if i come in thier vision.When this is  the actual reality of my position in here amongst the favourites of liberals would i feel like writing about thier plight ?even if i did write owing to suggestions and deploying vile tactics like shaking my heart  deliberately ,would it be respected?

Our SC maid it clear that though i gave her good legal advise and spent hours drafting a document for her for free ,that she  respects and  has  regards  for Brahmin woman neighbour  who feeds crow with freshly cooked rice early each morning working for her individual self and has only stubborn disdain for me.and my public spiritedness and sees it as  patronising and unwanted.In her eyes and several like her have a fixed notion of how a brahmin woman should be so as to command their respect.The problem is that I am expected to earn such persons respect by changing my routine. at the cost of raising my BP.Is it worth it? It is too late in my life to change my routine so that SC's would stop glaring and start saluting me .I could frankly give a damn whether they viz SC's respect me or not.   The motivation to do so is laughable.If i am expected to change my leisurely life to a quick and alert one I should be appointed to some Commission  or to Rajya sabha .                                                                       To expect me to forgo my leisurely life and switch back to the hectic pace of my school or college days or to the life  in earlier days of marriage  when i was up at 5 to send children to school and husband to office and also fit in my work then I should have  a good motivation to do so .It is comic that if i switched back to that furious pace at this age i would be rewarded  by salutes  by a line of sanitary workers with brooms ,wagons and phenyl with respect and that recognition should be my motivation, is totally absurd.

Each month during Amavasai the halla bula created  around me is unbelivable.First i ll be provoked to rave against the govt .authorities etc for torturing me with microwaves even if i tend to forget it , salt will be rubbed and my anger will be kept alive.Then the caste upholders  in my case viz the fourth caste will during Amavasai   frown upon my going out in the mornings and jeer by foisting their customs upon us .  In our house hold[Brahmin] it is the custom of men viz husband who would tell mantras to the pitrus and offer til and water .It is his very personal karma .I that is a wife has no role in it  unlike the fourth caste men who have no mantras or rituals for Amavasai  , The men have to offer vadai to pitrus.A wife is needed to make that vadai.

My presence is of no consequence in amavasai rituals done by my husband  .But during the annual Davasam-which are eloborate rituals for departed anscetors conducted with help of priests my presence is a must to start the ceremony  by lighting the twigs in homa kund  . If i were to gallavant around then [which i do not], without performing that important ritual then it makes sense for Hindu dharma upholders to   pass criticism on my conduct.   

Next since 2014 i am being persuaded to leave Hindu ways .Just before every festival i would be made to feel depressed that is jamming my forehead .I would even get fever.This was never the case before 2012.I am expecting fatigue and fever before Deepavali which is around the corner. This has become a regular feature. Who would like me to be dissuaded from following a normal Hindu  way of life ?It could only be by persons from other two communities that prize conversion .After doing all this to me i am expected to emphathise with thier lot!   

I cannot leave my Hindu way of life so that the burkha clad harrindans with fierce looks and aggression writ large on thier face  i keep seeing in my walks  will grin at me. These women exude hatred .Most of them are grim faced and ugly.I  often  wonder whether they wear burkha so that they can mask their sour and bitter looks ?as otherwise their own men would get revolted of them  and babies would scream in fear .

Nor can i leave my need to refill my knowledge on worldly affairs , so as to please some gospel dispensing Christian woman who look down upon me like as if i am a worm and gossipy serial seeing Hindu house wives and spend my time in prayer, prayer and prayer and spin like a top in  the kitchen and shed tears at front of the tv. .

Of the lot i keep coming across to get my daily dose of glares and stares it is women in Burkha and sometimes thier men in casual clothes  that is -in pant shirt and dark young lads and sometimes  their middle aged dark women relatives ,whose stares are the worst. They are  full of hate and aggression. Some  are  strangers and some are known  .                                                                                                                                               So it is perfect sham and totally perverted thinking and action to make me write about people who have  scant respect for me and who top it up with pure hostility.

Of late I am expected to write about integeration in our society between various communities .It is fine in upper realms  but not ok where i live viz on the ground Since 2012 i have been deliberately socially dis integerated from all communities around me .Those who want me write anecdotes on integeration know it, yet they expect me to write touchingly on such matters and expect me to hide the truth and gloss it over !Another joke ! A cruel insensitive one!

I am expected to write and hold hands with people whom i see every day in various shades of inexplicable hostility and disrespect.Inexplicable because those who show it are all the sort who would have never read my blogs or have the capacity to understand my english writings.so what are they angry  at me for ?Maybe they were sent by thier educated bosses who must be  equally hostile towards m e.

Seeing so much disrespect towards me i have developed this attitude --why should i bother about such people's issues ?Or lack of their rights .It only hardens me further.towards the very persons I am expected to empathise.

Even the poorest of poor woman may have a sense of privacy ownership and being the sole mistress of her small mud hut!I donot have this luxury.How can i agitate or wax eloquently on others rights?It is sheer perversity that makes persons offer suggestions to write on such topics .

I would have pointed out the evils in Hindu society, shown empathy etc [i have always been indifferent to other communities issues because I am just not bothered about them  even before these stares and glares but did have sympathy for SC which has also been wiped off clean by thier constant hostility} had i been the woman i was once with free and  and original  thinking, confident of myself,trusting govts, having faith in laws, social morality and ethics and absolutely sure of my privacy and secure in  family's warmth, trust and affection.

After 2012 when my entire world collapsed and all my rights and, emotional security were taken away and continues as such. How can I champion woman's rights or social reforms in Hindu society or Indian society? I myself need help to restore mine.I can't even do puja in peace, celeberate festivals or visit a temple without hurdles. My mind is constantly occupied by ways and means to overcome interruptions in my daily puja and and am full of doubts whether i can go out for a walk, shopping in a natural manner or visit temples without hurdles and nastiness  With constant group stalking i am only bothered about ways to elude it .                                                                                                                                                                     I was a an empowered woman till 2012 but have become totally disempowered and continue to do so for 10 years , then how can i talk on a high plane like reforms,rights,freedom, integeration etc when i have been scared out  my basic rights.I cannot bathe and dress without looking over my shoulders, I cannot eat my food in peace since there are  constant suggestions and messagings .I cannot  offer a simple prayer in sanskrit and meditate for few seconds without interruptions in forhead.

Historical figure?

 I often wondered as to how just a few amongst crores of people who have lived  and died over the centuries find a place in history and some of whom lodge themselves firmly in the memories of succeeding generations.There were thousands of kings, philosophers, poets,reformers but jut a few stand out.When  i read history in college the enormous number of people who are recorded in history made my head whirl  . But in popular parlance or common memory it is only few who stand out .What made them exceptional?Was it their energy to conquer kingdoms after kingdoms in case of kings or the courage of philosophers, scientists, reformers  to stick to thier unique views on being convinced of its efficacy and truth in it despite having to face aggressive opposition .                                                                                   

I also wondered whether I would make it to this list in my teens!Will i make it to the pages of history?But there was nothing unique about me.I wasn't a queen or a bold activist or invented some new formula.Over the years i got over this yen and forgot it.  

I again now wonder whether i might one day may make it to pages of history .Ego trip? Maybe .

OK if at all i do get recorded in history   would it because of my  lineage is unique [as written in my profile] so is hundreds of people in this country.                                                                                      Or would it be because by  accident or fate whatever one may call it i came on the net in my middle age and started publishing my views.This is also nothing extra ordinarily unique.There could be persons older than me taking to the net to express their views.or maintain a blog etc as a memorial or as a tribute to dear ones who have passed away .                                                                                               Or would i be feted for translating some Slokas of Sri Vaishnavaite acharyas  and Pasurums of Azhwars?The web is full of translations of erudite SriVaishnavaites who have attained knowledge directly from acharyas unlike me and maintain exhaustive collection of translations of Vedas, Slokas , Pasurums, Epics .Vishnu Sahasarnamum in superb English in a mission mode.So that is also ruled out.

But there is one unique distinction i do have as of now which could fructify my teenage fantasy.

Am i not the first woman to document or write and blog extensively and frankly about the no touch evidence less torture i was subject intensely in 2012 for 3 weeks and later in 2014 for 3 weeks  by our own dear governments [micro audio wave torture and iron shower] when i was 55and 57   years old respectively and survived the attack on  my nerves to tell the tale in my blog?                                     That i retained my mental balance though every trick was tried to show me as a nut.                                 Did i not and find out on my own from Net that such tortures do exist all over the world not only in Dictatorships but also in Democracies.The only difference is that in democracies some  of the victims[ like a victim who was in US navy] who are aware of what is being done to them are allowed to write and blog and publish it. 

Who knows one day or the other when the truth is out about how govt agencies target those who are embarrasing the govt or put it in a spot will be out , then i maybe celeberated as a Pioneer -the first woman victim of no touch evedenceless torture in telling the world and India the sordid truths of the deep dark state that is  soaked with sadism ,.

I donot rule out the role of persons unconnected with the govt for deploying such weapons on me as well. Some of them are advertised  in  the net ,Their dirty deeds, exploitation and constant nipping will be uncovered one day or the other. Here to i will be the pioneer.

Fall of Panjshir.

 After a long gap i walked on the terrace for excersise .The long gap was  owing to  fever and fatigue that gripped me for 2 weeks after Kabul airport was bombed .Maybe i was immobolised and was made  to suffer bodily pains ,fever ,and crammed up forehead etc due to Daadi peedaigals dirty deeds  there  in  Afganisthan ,by our gadjet gurus here.I wrote volumes of pages egged on by high decibel music from     adjacent temple festival one whole day at the end of August and was given repreive only when i wrote that Indian Muslim women in burkhas were much better off  and freer than those in Afganisthan.

Whilst walking , suddenly i was thinking of  dirty dusty daadi dharidrangal viz Talibans in Afganistan.If i switch on news channels one set shows only disease stalking India like Wuhan peedai, nipah, dengue etc whilst the other shows only the daridhrangal of Afganistan with various types of daadi's .So not much choice in watching news .Disease and Daadis.

The only silver lining was the sticker in one channel that showed that vaccination had reached 75 crores !Remarkable.! This was great news .As per original plan only 30 crore seniors would have been vaccinated by September but now double the number of people were vaccinated .This is  twice the number.

So up there I was all of a sudden thinking of the talibans .Do they merit my writing about them?Are they earth shaking news like Corona?Then i thought of the fall of Panjshir and the way my heart sank on hearing about it.Immediately a pigeon flew away flapping its wings loudly and i heard a distant call of a kite  .

I was watching the dirty daadi's show with interest only when the Northern alliance put up a resistance .I was cheering them .the way i did back in Porur  during Taliban 1 when I was living in a independant house with my own independant thoughts views and feelings without any suggestions from outside to my sub conscious or provocations unlike here in T Nagar.I felt sorry then exactly the way i felt now when the  leader of the resistance-NA got killed.

When Panjshir fell due to  paavi perverts from Pakistan i lost interest in Afganistan.Why didn't India help NA / Panjshir to retain its independance?

written on 12.9.21

Torture diary.

 I promised to maintain a diary recording the  no touch evidenceless tortures i keep facing on and off but fell back because it is boring to write about my daily tortures  like a sharp sting in my left eye or pain gripping my left knee or having a series of uncontrollable hiccups or the uncomfortable feeling on my forhead being pressed for few moments or minutes these days as i have learnt to tackle these by tuning my head , body and limbs or moving away from that place.and it will go off .So what is there to write about it since it has become part and parcel of my life for the past 10 years.

When i am given big tortures I wouldn't even know it is being given since I would be in a feverish daze with everything in me stiffening in deep fatigue viz my alertness ,and my ability to reason it out .I would be moving like a robot through my daily activities for days together .It could last upto 3 weeks.Then this grip over my head , dumping of my forhead , sore throat or mild tooth ache or fever will stop would stop suddenly and i ll be back to normal and only then would I realise that i was given a big torture .This could be given either to curb my mobility or to extract some writing from me .When they are satisfied then the torture would be removed and the relief would be so great that i would forget the discomfort and nagging pain instantly and not bother to analyse its cause or write about it.

Writing is normally extracted from me by first giving me a fatigued feeling and then control the noise around me.The noises would include the following --Flash cricket  playing near my compound or in the opposite maidan with a lot of boisterous shoutings and sudden cessation of it or banging the iron gas cylinders whilst loading and unloading or playing shrill music on loud stereos the way it was done during recent temple festival etc. Amidst this suggestions will be given to me on what i should write like as it is my thought when i am relaxing viz bathing or use the rest room or sleeping.

M y big tortures generally occur when parliament is in session or when PM visits US  or some important country.Of late that is since few years back the tactics to keep me out of causing  mischief has changed it involves engaging me in series of activities like visiting dance concerts non stop [before Corona]or translating or learning slokas , Pasurums etc .When i am doing it with great interest i would think at the middle why am i doing this , but would continue and suddenly when par session is over the the kick i was getting from these activities will also stop abruptly making me feel deflated and become limp  like a balloon without gas .

Abhisekam of utsvar at Vardharajar temple .

 Few weeks  back visited Vardarajar temple at Kanch puram on a week day since on  weekends the temple remains closed due to Covid regulations.

This time was lucky to see the abhisekam of Utsavar --processional deity of Varadar  ,and his two consorts -Sri Devi and Bhoo Devi.All three are small .Slightly bigger than dolls.Varadar was taller of the three .He was wrapped in a white dhoti along his waist whilst His consorts were wrapped fully with sarees.They were placed on a table right opposite to the towering Moolavar who was several feet away.who was hidden from view by a curtain.His darshan could be had only after the abhisekam of utsavars was over .

It is poignant to see the perforated cheeks of utsavar Varadhar .It is as moving as the dented face of  utsvar [-namperumal] of Sri Ranganathar at Sri Rangam temple.They both have stood the ravages of time , the perforations and dents on their faces a testimony to the long period of time they have been worshipped.

There was a sizeable crowd craning their necks to get a glimpse of the bathing of the idols.When the bhatacharya applied sandal paste lovingly to all the 3 vigrahams and placed a tulsi garland around thier necks and showed camphor arti  ,the crowd went ectastic and chanted loudly Govinda! Govinda ! Govinda propelling me to do the same .Their devotion was infectious ,much more than that of that wretched Corona .There was a lot of  jostling and excited noise when the priest poured the water  from a pitcher sanctified by Vedic Mantras over the utsvars..

In such excited babbles and anxiety to get a good view of the abhisekham heard a melodious recital .which had a calming effect.A group of veda pandits were rendering Purusha sooktaum in a calm unhurried manner in musical tones .This was as cooling to hear  as to see  the sanctified water being poured over the idols.A sense of tranquility descended ,and earthly matters seemed trivial.

This abhisekam ritual has two interpretations known to me. Bhagwans essence is enshrined in all His idols.Since He is our custody he is taken care of  like a child  viz bathing , dressing and so on .

The second is that Bhagwan is so accesible to his devotees that he lets us see his sacred form head to foot without robes and ornaments covering it,[except for a cloth around his waist] in the pretext of taking a bath..

After this was over the curtains hiding Moolavar from view was drawn back and we were allowed to walk up the few steps carved on the hill stands and get a close view of His majestic form.Varadar is tall and hefty.He has a wonder ful smile on His face and He exudes happiness that pervades the sanctum .I smiled back and felt happy.

His unadulterated joy writ all over His face lips and eyes [which is not fully covered by thirumun unlike Srinivasar] reminded me of His avatar as Sri Krishna, who made every one happy with his mischief ,pranks and practical advises.

Though He towers over all with His fearsome weapons  viz mace , chakra  and conch , Varadar has a happy countenance and a engaging smile that draws one closer to him fearlessly like as if He is a close friend,who would never harm but only invigorate and infuse confidence even to those who  are for the first time having a glimpse of His form/Moorthy.

Varadar's darshan is a happy moment .

Tripurasuran.

 Saw tourist guide of Tripura on RSTV and so looked it up in the net. Its capital is very small , smaller than  medium towns here and scarcely any traffic.So is Gauhati the capital of Assam.

Having lived in sprawaling Metros full of traffic all my life that i find it amusing that such small towns are called cities in North East.

Tripura has a place called Unkoti which means less than one crore..It has rock carvings of Siva and 1000's of Devas  deep inside a jungle.The carvings is said to depict the thousands of Devas who were slayed by the Asura Tripurasuran in days gone by .

I remembered the meanings of  Swamy Desikan's sloka on Sudarshana Chakra in which Tripurasuras are  mentioned  and that Sudarshana [an avatar of Vishnu]became a arrow which Siva left  from his bow to kill the 3 Asuras .

So all this took place in Tripura since such carvings are found nowhere else in India.

This tiny state unknown to many now .was well known in distant past , as the events mentioned in Puranas have been recorded in stone.in there.

It is fashionable to brush aside stories from Puranaas as myths woven with fantastic legends .with show of super human powers.Even i have this tendency.But seeing those carvings in Tripura the home of Tripurasurans as stated in Puranas , maybe several events mentioned in Puranas did take place .

-                      ---------------------------------

                                        ASURAS.

Asuras as per our hoary traditions were within the  Vedic fold and followers of Vedas who have gained immense power by performing homamas, yagnas and  from intense Tapas and use it for wicked purposes.

They were  not aboringes or indigenous people with different beliefs , the way it is being wrongly portrayed these days.

          _______________________

Sudarshana Homam.

 Attended Sudarshana Homam in Bangalore.It was conducted by the owner of a house  who was highly relived and thankful that his tenants who refused to vacate the premises several years after the tenancy agreement was over .had finally quit it after a long legal battle .He wanted to occupy the said premises hence he performed Sudarshana homam before doing so.

A huge square was made in the drawing room with bricks stacked one over the other It had a thick layer of sand at its bottom that covered the tiled floor.These bricks were decorated with small lines of  kumkum and turmeric powder.

I was taken aback by the size of the homa kund.I have seen only seen small portable cement bowl being used in here at Chennai in all  functions for homams ,whether big or small. ranging from marriages conducted in huge halls  to Davasams performed at homes,like we have at home[the annual homam propitiating pitrus via deceased anscestors].

I was even more surprised to see huge logs instead of the usual small twigs stacked in a corner.The Agni viz the fire would be a roaring one .! 

This was the first time that i was attending a Sudarshana Homam.

A tastefully drawn Rangoli in myraid of colours depicting the Sudarshana Chakra the powerful weapon of Vishnu/Narayana occupied a fair share of the dining room .It faced the inset puja room.An attendee commented that it looked like the map of India.Yes from a certain angle it did look like one!

Soon the whole house was over run by  Saivaite brahmin priests getting ready to perform the Homam.There wasn't even a single Sri Vaishnavaite brahmin priest though the homam was conducted by Sri Vaishnaviate owner for his daughter and son in law .a young Sri Vaishnavaite couple.!

The couple were asked to sit before the huge kund and a Brahmin Siva acharya sat by their side.They sat thus for 3 hours !I thought that since Smartha or Saivaite Brahmins are very thorough in Shastras and Vedas and Vedic rituals they were really were going the full hog .But others who have attended this homam earlier said that it does take 3 hours,irrespective of any Brahmin of any sect  presiding over  it.!

First the woman was asked to do archana of a small Ganesh idol placed at front of her near the homa kund with flowers so as to commence and conduct the homa without any obstacles.

Then the acharya chanted mantras that were aimed at driving wicked thoughts  evil spirits and disease that could be pervading the house.He chanted the mantras so lucidly that though i haven't learnt Sanskrit I could understand it.

He then asked 2 elderly married women who are not widows to drop the lit camphor burning brightly on the brick wall of the homa and not directly into it .I was asked to do it along with another woman.Unlike other homas where women directly drop the burning camphor into the kund and ignite the twigs here another priest pushed the camphor into the kund .and the mega homam commenced .

The husband was asked to repeat  the mantras recited by the head priest, on and off .His main ritual was to pour ghee into the kund.and to keep the fire alive.The acharya and all other priests chanted mantras in unison in loud voice non stop for nearly two and a half hours .Remarkable  memory and energy.None of them fumbled .

The head priest then invoked each of the  Nava Grahas like Surya etc requesting them to shower the couple and the house with auspiciousness.

Then he invoked Sudarshana by first praising him with innumerable Mantras from Vedas and then requesting him to drive away all beings inimical to the well being of the couple and the house .He sought this powerful weapon of Vishnu's to constantly protect the couple and the house.The Agni leapt .high!

Then some cooked rice was fed to the raging Agni .There was hardly any smoke !

The head priest took a small break to tell us few stories from Mahabharat relating to Sri Krishna and his weapon 'the Sudarshana Chakra.He spoke in Kannnada and requested that it be translated to those who didn't understand that language.Barring me and two others every one in that room knew Kannada as they were all born and bred there.

But I  could understand easily .First I knew all those stories.Second Kannada is similar to Tamil.Third he was telling it slowly and clearly.Finally in my distant distant past i had learnt Kannada in a primary school in Mysore as it was a compulsory then to learn it by all.

After completion of chanting Mantras a gong was struck repeatedly, hand held bells were chimed whilst the the husband showed camphor Arti to the Homam and then to the pictures of  deities in the puja room.with all of us standing with palms joined together in supplication .

The striking of the gong and chiming of the bells  amidst the aromatic flames leaping to the ceiling and the Aarti created a terrific effect and the atmosphere became electric with cosmic vibrations.

The Agni kindled in that homa kund would take two full days to cool!

And then i finally heard all the priests and the couple chant Narayana several times and then the Homam ended. Hearing  the  mantra Narayanaya  was nectarine.I felt deeply satisfied with my whole being suffused with delight . This was the desert , the icing .A delicious one.

Moments of humour through out the Homam  was the insistence of a elderly Iyengar woman.She asked the Acharya to recite Sudarshana ashtakam of Desikan or allow her to recite it .The head priest ignored her requests and went on with rituals and Vedic recitals.She sat at his front glowering at him with her big eyes smouldering like the Agni in the Kund  through out the 3 hours ritual.

It is the norm to start all homas in Sri Vaishnavaite-vadagalai sect functions to first pay homage to Swamy Desikan our Acharya, by chanting few Sanskrit slokas praising him.But this was  a  out and out  Saivaite show and the owner himself had organised thus , so how can one expect the contrary?So i found her insistence out of place and funny .

This Sudarshana Ashtakam are eight sanskrit slokas on Sudarshana Chakra written by Swamy Desikan  750 years back which is recited in Sri Vaishnavaite [Vadagalai] house holds by men and women to ward of disease and enemies.

According to some elders it was written by Desikan to  cure villagers near Kanchipurum of the mysterious disease stalking them and on invoking the Sudarshana Chakra they were cured of thier disease,Few other elders are of the view that Swamy Desikan invoked the Sudarshana Chakra with these slokas to help him to win a philosophical debate with Advaitins in Thituheendrapurum.[TN] and he won and established the primacy of VisishtaDwaita philosophy.

Most Iyengars recite this sloka and several others without knowing thier meanings and the context at which it was written .Hence her insistence and persistence to make that Siva acharya  to recite it  or allow her to recite it during the homam amused me .

Finally when the homam was formally concluded the head priest acceded to her request and she chanted the Astakam loudly to her hearts content along with us and few others.

Method has intensified and topics have changed.

 The change in Govt here at TN in May has brought the following changes---

1.Before my forhead was bombarded with thoughts of minorities and how they have short changed me .like attempting to convert me At one time I would get angry at one community and the next at the other.

Now my forhead is bombarded with suggestions ridiculing Modi and is stuffed with anti centre thoughts.

2.Before when i was doing puja names of gods of the two Abrahamic religions would be flitted into my forehead  .

Now some one is virtually having a conversation with me on news topic interrupting my recitation of slokas and meditations even during puja and stops only when i show aarti.

The topics have changed but method is same .It is so intense that it makes me to write on and on.

The second wave.

 When the news channels beamed the news that CM of Mahrashtra rang up the PM for supply of Oxygen and that latter was unavailable owing to his poling campaign in Benagal i thought that the CM was playing politics .The pandemic was over ,he and his alliance didnot want BJP to win Bengal hence it was a gimmic  

 fora week or so I had this view.but when I saw line of ambulances and people gasping for air and their relatives queuing for oxygen cylinders in Mumbai and Delhi I sat up.

The Govt assured that the PM though on tour was also handling the country.I accepted it.

Even here the election campaign was in full swing with huge crowds .They even gathered in large numbers maskless ,under my window shoving each other in their eagerness to greet the present CM who drove down slowly amongst them in a open van, late at night.They also gathered in large numbers to greet other candidates from other political parties.and listen to their promises .Election campaigns were  going on merrily as ever .Every thing seemed normal.TV beamed the large crowds attending the election rallies here and in various parts of India.A usual phenomenon.

I thought that it was short lived wave.Spurt and splutter down in few days time.But TV 's kept showing the desperation of families searching for oxygen, medicines beds etc.That was real .Something serious was taking place.

High courts after high courts passed strictures on the various state govts.policies and suggested and ordered remedial measures. .It was unusual since policy making is not Courts domain .Were they unnecessarily intruding into executive powers.My husband was livid at their interference.

The channels also showed PM addressing large crowds in lakhs in Bengal whilst experts were asking people to maintain social distance and wear masks.The relatives of afflicted patients were running hither and thither in absolute panic and anxiety.

That was when the image I had of PM being a man for Crisis broke.Yes it is the responsibility of state govts to handle the situation in thier states but it was very uncharecteristic of the PM who is known to tackle calamities quickly , and was always at the helm , to be engrossed in the game of power.

Was winning Bengal more important than tackling the virus re-stalking the country in a deadly manner?

At one point i even thought that the Chinese were spraying the new deadly variant from settelites or their representatives  the naxals were doing it on the ground to stop PM's winning streak.

What ever his adress to the nation  at that juncture was also not inspiring.He reffered to Bala mitras .Who are they/Instead of assuring the nation that arrangements about the supply of oxygen that was being done through special trains and about the import of the much needed concentrators [which was also being done] he was talking off tangent.I was very disappointed .

I felt that his image 'India First' was dented.Even my hub his sworn loyalist agreed for a split second with my view but quickly amended that his leader was like Valli who would turn any bad attacks on him to good and would emerge stronger.Just wait and see.

Then the centre allowed states and private companies to procure vaccine as the clamour for vaccine grew ,spear headed by opposition parties.Strange .The main opposition party  had earlier derided the Indian made vaccines as unscientific contributing to vaccine hesitancy  and now they were clamouring for more and for all !

I wanted privitasion of procurement of vaccines from the very begginning.but after i got both my doses in March itself  i lost interest in vaccination.But papers kept it alive warning or recurrence of the virus which could also attack the vaccinated unless 70 % of population is vaccinated and India gets herd immunity.

Then the tamasha rolled on that was to blacken all the faces clamouring for it including mine.No company  honoured the tenders floated world wide by State govts.The multi national companies were only willing to negotiate with the Indian govt.Meanwhile the Serum Institute head escaped to England fearing for his life .Vaccine had become dearer than gold.

That was the time that is when Foreign companies refused to strike deals with the states or private companies that the majesty and power and respect the Govt of India as against that of state Govts came to fore.

Earlier on the Covid head tried to explain that there was great demand for vaccines all over the world and there fore they were going step by step .No one paid heed to that soft spoken man Some .people weven thought that  bueracrats  known for their slow pace of work and some even known for corruption had thrown the hammer and brought about this scarcity and slow pace of vaccination.

Why was there such a clamour for vaccine in May whilst there was so much hesitancy to take it when it was first introduced in January ?The horrible pictures of asphixiation terrorised even the calm , cool and this will also pass hesitant group to rush to get vaccinated.  .To gasp for air which we take for granted is horrible .                                                                                                                                          The national TVshowed only Mumbai and Delhi and skipped showing Tamilnadu and other cities.The local TV's showed long line of ambulances waiting outside hospitals and people waiting in q for hours to get medicines for their relatives . 

One of the local Tamil TV channel showed a boy of 8-10 yrs of age ,shirtless and in knickers returning from a errand and on hearing the wail of ambulance to move his body flexibly synchronising with the ups and down notes of the ambulance siren .It was funny because he did it so well .He must have heard several such sirens to perfect that dance.

PM's next address to the nation in June was good  .He conveyed the message that he was taking control of things viz vaccination programme and that he was back at the helm.

My husband whistled and clapped his hands .and said 'You lutyens and [ i at times appear as  lutyyens and Congress  (though i am not a member of that party or any party )he dislikes] don't know my leader '.

.He works 24 hours a day silently.He never gets provoked by your toxic barbs.He is a Rishi He is a Swamy.If people reject him he will tie his clothes into a small bundle and retreat to Himalayas quietly without any fanfare  and spend the rest of his life in meditation.

.On yoga day-June 21  when it was launched the record 90 lakhs jabs took my breath away.It could be a flash in the fan , BJp states working hard to lift  their image.But following days the average was 50 lakhs per day .This is no mean job.

With the hope of this rate of vaccination continuing we may soon get herd immunity that will check  and banish this asura , devil ,demon and creep from China, from India forever.

State elections security.

 In the run upto the State elections in April 2021i shopped for Vegeatbles in my usual shop and was returning home taking the inner roads that winds around  a 3 star hotel .Opposite to this hotel is a community hall where people from hosing tenements conduct marriages and other functions.

It was also the place where a lot of migrants were locked up in nation wide lockdown.

In its parking lot I saw alot of men standing in rows .A man was whistling and shouting Left right etc and all the men obeyed him .I thought that they were the security guards of that hotel doing their drill.When I went to buy Butter milk as it was getting hotter and hotter from a milk parlour right next to that hall the sales man told me that all those men were from CRPF and they were here for poll duty .

I had a closer look .Most were light skinned men, must be North Indians  slightly plump with paunches and very homely looking.I came home and told husband  about this and observed  that may be CRPF kept thier best men for naxal operations and sent the older and less fitter ones for poll duty.

A day or two later I visited that parlour .The sales man a retired banker said that all the butter milk was sold out as the CRPF men were guzzling them in pints and described the manner in which a man made huge chappat'is daily in the morning patting them with his hands and the men dipped them in the butter milk and ate them and added humourosly 'These men eat like 'Vandi karan' ie like Cart pullers ie those who do hard physical labour, who would make huge mound of rice pour a little sambhar  or butter milk in it  and then finish of that huge mound in no time.That sales man asked do you know about 'vandikaran' I  smiled  and said ofcourse  my parents have used this phrase often to scold us  when we ate just one course in  big mounds of rice hastily.

He further said that he went far and wide in search  of the buttermilk which these men wanted and that he charged just 0ne rupee extra .

Then he started talking about Srinivasar 's umbrella that is sent from Chennai to Tirumala each year during Bramhotsava festival in there.He kept giving details embellishing it with a lot of stories from past .that included miracles .I wanted to leave after sometime but he held me on with his talks.It wasn't very interesting but I didn't want to appear rude so I kept standing and listening .

Looked around and saw a Muslim youth in white and white and cap sitting on motorbike at the turning .He was staring at his smart phone .Alarm bells rang.Was he innocent or was he dangerous to me ?But still i kept hearing to this salesman who had become suddenly very garrulous.Then two men from CRPF camp in civils walked into the  small shop blocking the entrance.

The one in the front was young ,dark and had a leathery skin.He was asking for butter milk .Something in his face  was very arresting.He looked extremely fit .He also looked fierce.He didn't look at me but his partner a older light skinned man kept staring at me curiously.OK this is what pairs /partners in my presence do .One will talk and other would stare at me.

The sales man said' No buttermilk".I saw a packet of lassi or curds on the rack and I told the salesman about it who offered it to that CRPF chap.Who took it and paid for it by taking a wallet from his pocket .

The sales man asked for a rupee more .I felt somehow, some thing in that youth despite his fierceness moved me and  i was very tempted to fish for it in my purse as i carry a lot of changes and was even tempted to pay for the curds but held back , that man was drawing a salary and he wouldn't like it if i did so. 

They left soon .The sales man said' Had you not pointed out the curds I would have sold it to you.'

I said' Oh no it is fine .I have plenty of curds at home, i buy buttermilk just for  its  taste .These men are up from North away from their homes ,quartered in this hall in this searing heat .Give them first .You did the right thing.'

Came back thinking about that dark youth with leathery face'.Was he a tribal?How would his mother look? Just then i saw a dark woman clad in village style sari .A rarity these days .Maybe like her?

Then i thought was this enacted for me That is showing me that fierce looking very fit CRPF youth for having made fun of their age and  paunches earlier on ?Or showed  me a sample of the young CRPF  men who were engaging naxals in forests and fighting them?Maybe..Or did they come down to block off that Muslim youth from me.Maybe .I have several times in past years seen bulky men or women come straight in front off me seemingly offensive and when i move to the side I would see men mostly youth behind some distance away look at their cell in surprise like as if it was cut abruptly and would go away with either a angry or disappointed look.Or did they just come down for some butter milk?As simple as that?

When i came out I didnt see that Muslim youth.He had left.

What ever that young man impressed me greatly and thought would the nighbourhood rowdies and anti social elements crawl under their beds in fear of on seeing him?Most likely .Even Naxals would. 

 i thought why should that salesman charge one Re extra? Maybe that would be his motivation to search far and wide for those bottles of thirst quenching buttermilk  .

Our polling station was near that centre. A lone CRPF man stood on the main road .There were onl;y police men and women inside the polling station

That fierce looking man with a very calm manner , two contrasting qualities  that was very appealing in that dark CRPF man was nowhere around .

Maybe that man with nerves of steel  was posted in a more sensitive area..

 

 

.

Scheduled caste the burden on my shoulders.

 The scheduled castes from lower strata often abused me .This is since childhood in here at Chennai.It reached its peak after 2012 .They did it in Blind school where I went to help and then on the roads and shops .The recent converts to Christianity were also very abusive.

Since I always had this pity towards them I ignored their hostile barbs and never took it to heart.With my fair complexion and handloom sarees it is easy to spot me as  a Brahmin.I' ll stick out in any crowd over here .I had discussion with  a scheduled  caste youth who was pouring his ire on Brahmins .I told him  in which Era are you in Is it Brahmins who attack you all in villages down south .Isn't it the non brahmins who are doing it . Are there any Brahmins left in villages these days ?Most of them have migrated to cities or abroad . He was'nt convinced .He said Brahmins would instigate and non brahmins would do the physical assault.I wasn't convinced .He was attacking Brahmins and not his actual aggressors since he was sacred to attack non brahmins. Brahmins are the whipping boys .There will be no retaliation from them how much ever they are castigated or abused.But it is not the case as far as non brahmins are concerned .They will give it back.

But there were highly educated Scheduled castes who were affluent who would seek out our company and treat us very well .They were proud of our friendship.But those at the bottom are extremely abusive.

Whilst some  Non Brahmins including my friends at school etc would sneer at me for being a Brahmin They were hostile but not abusive .They did not harbour the hatred that SC's had towards me.

I kept understanding their ire at us as my anscestors long back[centuries] have treated them shabbily for centuries and made them outcasts.They did not belong to the Hindu fold .They never had a caste hence were always treated as aliens. They are the fifth caste and so on .

Then i read some where that as per Shastras the Hindu fold or Sanatana Dharma recognises only four castse and they viz Sc's belonged to the fourth caste viz Sudras.This outlook  was novel to me and I didnot believe it.I always thought they had no caste and therefore not entitled to follow Hindu practises.

Won't the Sudras be offended by this new theory?Won't they protest violently at such a concept for clubbing SC's in their fold?

Then i googled for more information on SC's and came upon Wikepedia.In it it was written that Mahatma Ghandhi always considered SC's as part of Sanatana Dharama since they belonged to the fourth caste viz Sudras! If Ghandhi said they belonged to the 4 th caste then I who have great respect for the Mahatma have to believe it and I did.That relieved me and lifted the burden of guilt I was carrying for decades -nearly 50 years!

So why should I go on pitying those who are part of Hindu fold?viz Sudras  some of whom who have been kept at a distance in the past owing to their dirty and unhygenic proffesion.

If Ghandhi  says they are within caste then he is right and i will follow it.This happened during lockdown .So nearly after 50 years of guilt towards SC's ,a constant burden on my shoulders I shed it and felt free.

Tackling.

 During Lockdown i decided to start doing Yoga .To refresh my memory i looked up videos on Yoga in U tube and found Baba Ramdev's to be most authentic.from amongst the numerous Yoga teachers.

I had learnt Yoga in my late teens in a ashram in Delhi run by Dhirendra Bramhachari .I had perfected it to such a extent that I could float easily on my back in the swimming pool in Matsya asana posture. It is said that one could float on one's if one knew Matsya asana .I tried it and found it to be true.But over the years  my yoga practise reduced and after 2012 i totally dropped doing Yoga .Now with no outings and no blogging or writing i had plenty of time to think about myself and wanted to re start Yoga.

I refreshed many asanas from Baba's videos..After initial pain and a broken toe nail i became ok. To my surprise I found out that i still can do Surya Namaskar!There is a good video on it in Rajya sabha TV.Very instructive and useful.Now I do asanas, Surya namaskar and Pranayama regularily.

That Baba is really good at it .He enjoys doing it and is full of wit.During the second wave he showed the power of Yoga by getting his oxygen level slowly to 40  and showed it on  the oxymeter he used and then regained it and then  laughed and said what is this fear about drop in oxygen level see how one can control it by Yoga .I have heard that famous Hata yoga practitioners of past like BKS Iyengar could control and even stop their heart beats for few minutes .But at that time gadjets like oxymeter wasnot there to prove it nor live telecasts.Baba proved it using modern technology.He showed that he is a terific practitioner,. He also proved scientifically the benifits of practising Yoga. and that unbelievable claims made by sincere practitioners of Yoga is  not a myth.

On veiwing Ram dev Baba's videos I came across a video that said that some Muslim outfits had issued a fatwa banning  Muslims from buying Patanjali products which he endorses because they contain cow' dung and urine to which he replied that only very few products of his has such cows waste.I immediately looked up his products and found that his shampoo , tooth paste and soap were very popular .and they were making multi nationals in home products jittery.

On the way to the shop i purchase vegetables there is a shop selling Patanjali products with Baba's huge poster.It has been there for nearly a decade but i never went in because having used multinational tooth paste etc for decades I was wary of changing over to Ayurvedic products fearing allergy.

But when i read that Muslims are not allowed to buy his products I decided to shop  for personal needs .I was and am desperate to get rid of Muslims casing me , stalking me and watching me in my house.There are many others also casing me but I was going by elimination method .If babas products deter them then to baba's shop i will go .Then I looked up in net as to what repulses Muslims .one said colour red another display of hair.So I fished out all my red saris to be worn in my walks and outings and mental note to buy more Red saris blouses etc once curfew was lifted.

So I went to Baba's shop hoping that my very entry into the premises would repulse Muslims watching and  casing me . I donot know as to why they do it.Is it to influence me .I realised that they were stalking and casing me only after 2014 when my i  was deliberately made aware of .Till then I thought they were the normal pedestrians . In 2015 my suspicion regarding them was confirmed when I was walking to a hotel In Bangalore and a youth in white pyjama and white cap proclaiming his Muslim identity came walking towards me jauntily and did a swift Uturn and disapeared from my sight on seeing my key chain with Srinivasars tiny idol i was carrying for protection .I was wearing a sari and a big kumkum on my forehead and yet I donot appear like  Hindu woman ?This is what puzzles me .Are casers /youth brain washed to confuse me with his female relatives who must be wearing burkha head scarf etc and i do not .Only on seeing a idol on me that  they run and hide .That revulsion shown to the idol i carry  shows that they are having some ulterior motive towards me.They are not ordinary muslims and it was these  that I wanted to eliminate from my life.

So as earlly as 2015 I also bought a gold ring with Srinivasars  idol embossed in it and always wear it on my finger at home and also when i go out for protection.I also wear a gold ring with Mahalakshmi idol. Wearing Venkateswara ring is nothing new . i used to wear it in my childhood. I find it painful to dangle my key chain since the iron in it is used to give me pain in my knees and abdomen and so i only wear my ring.

 I wanted to try this latest ruse.So i entered the shop .I bought tooth paste ,soap ,shampoo , dish washing soap and agarbathi  .He has  soaps made of Panchgavya which is displayed separately and the phenyl made of cow urine kept in the back .I didnot buy them.Few days back i was surprised to see that TTD would hereafter make various  personal care products using Panchgavya viz five products of cow like ghee, milk, dung, urine etc and sell it in its counters across India ! So Baba has competition now.

I started using them .I like the paste with its taste of cloves. I didnot develop any allergy am still using them.I hoped that Muslim peeping Toms would get revolted and get lost.

I debated for long whether I should buy Cow urine phenyl .I heard that in earlier days people would run with buckets when they see a cow urinate to collect it and use it .One day i bought it .It had smell of urine which I didnot like but I wanted to get rid my hostile 24 hour s/7 stalkers so i took it down and sprayed it on my parking lot hoping that Muslims and Christian stalking would see it and become revolted .It got over in a month and I didnt have the stomach rather the nose to buy it again.

Then i tried my all red outfit and pony tail .I have long hair .One day when i was in this all red outfit  sari ,blouse ,and red coral chain a month or so back ,waiting in line to buy vegetables a couple came .The woman was in burkha and the man accompanying her her husband was wearing Red shirt and black pant .They stood next to me and were chatting making the point that red colour doesnot deter Muslims.They seemed normal so i didnt mind being near them then when i lifted my hand to smooth my flying hairs and adjust my sari that man in red made a quick get away.He had seen my gold ring with Srinivasar.So he was not innocent as he seemed .That woman in burkha stayed on . I didnot see that man again.

It puzzles as to why they expect a  woman like me a Hindu will not wear idols on me or pray before idols It is the most natural thing for me to do .What have they been brainwashed with?What do they think of me as ?A Muslim? Or a Christian?Some Christian women dress just like Hindus with sticker bindi on their forehead .Maybe some even use kumkum.or do they think that I have been absorbed into thier community or do they think that I have been converted to Christianity?Or are they just crazy?I have also seen poor Christian women who come near me in shops make a quick escape on seeing my ring.What is the notion about my religious identity ? What is going on?  it is constant casing.

                                                So red colour and pony tail is  not as effective as my ring and keychain with idols.

Then i tried my next astra both Muslims and Christians are allergic to cow excretions so why not rever t back to my early days of marriage when my m.i.l would ask us to mix dried cowdung powder in water and   sprinkle it  steps and  entrance before drawing Kolam?And also use it to clean table after eating.At first soon after marriage  i baulked then i slowly got used it and can handle it without any hesitation.

So during Lock down relaxation I went to nearby market in search of cowdung cake .The man selling it looked at me strangely .Now a days people even maids have started to use haldi to clean their entrances before drawing kolam.I brought it home and pounded it to fine dust and filled a transparent plastic bottle with it and placed it in my kitchen.

The first I do in the morning after coffee is to take several pinches of this holy dung and kneaded it gently and lovingly between my index and thumb and then mix it with water under overhead lights hoping Muslims and Christians viewing me would get revolted.I ll deliberately prolong this holy work .And then i ll sprinkle it on my entrance and at balcony near my kitchen and then draw kolam.with rice flour..

Then after having lunch i ll take a pinch of this  powder used as a sanitiser by our anscestors  and clean my table .I do all this very happily enjoying the discomfit it would surely cause those people peeping into my house.This may not revolt Hindus but   at least i can eliminate two others at least for few minutes and get the pleasure of revolting them.

 

 

Perverts in action --

There  is a elderly Iyengar couple roughly our age  right in front of my flat.I can see into their balcony and they can see into my balcony and dining room.

The man is fair, dressed in yellow dhothi, bare chested with punal and always looks slovenly and never looks bright.His wife is pencil thin, with huge bulging eyes , dark and with high pitched screeching voice.

This man will come out and stand quietly looking at the street[brought out]when ever A Muslim in white cap or lungi or in pant shirt passes by on the road and then trudge in .In the evenings from 4.30 pm onwards he will sit in his balcony gazing ahead .He will rarely ever look. at me.Some times he will glare at me which is also rare.This is going on since 2014.

The woman will come out only to glare at me.She will  come out [brought out ] when i sit near the dining table to roll cotton for wick for the oil lamp used in puja  or whist filling kumkum in its containers or when i sit cutting camphor into two to be lit in aarti at puja times..Her glare would be so intense that i will look up and see her glowering at me with hatred like as if I am doing something which I shouldn't be doing.Though I  am doing what she would be doing in her house.

 

Their balcony door would be opened  around 6.45AM when my husband wakes up and then closed at 6.45 PM.12 hours of duty.In 2014 that mild looking man would be sitting whole day on the balcony.After few years they have  this 12 hours routine.Are they brought out or are they paid to do this?Maybe both.They seem to be of poor means since they are  living in their son in law's flat .They must be aware of what they are called to do even if instantly since that woman's hostility towards me is real .It is abnormal as i have never offended her in any way and she is not the type to read my blogs..Her hatred vibrates through the intervening space between us.

She is a iyengar brahmin woman and not a Christian or Muslim woman to show her displeasure at my activities relating to puja!

But the perverts have made her the representative of Evangelists or Jihadists substituting her in either a Muslim or Christian woman's shoes.

She was so hostile for years that I couldn't smile or  converse with her.

 

So when ever i see this Iyengar couple I am supposed to feel that I am in vicinity of hostile Muslims  or Christians.and over the years with this repititive actions and glares I also started feeling thus.

Now after change in govt here at T.Nadu she has slightly mellowed but beats a hasty retreat on seeing me and never meets my eyes.

Sathabhishekam.

 In mid March attended 80 th birthday celeberations that consists of Vedic chanting and homam of our relative. Since I had my first dose of vaccination I took part in it happily.                                                       It went off well. The elderly man bearing the rigours of chanting vedas seated on the ground and pouring ghee into the Agni kund for more than a hour,.He is  quite fit for his age..

One of their relative a Gynocologist  by profession sat grimly with ablack face mask 

Most of us had removed it .Most of us there were vaccinated .She kept glaring at us and ordered me to wear my mask.I said I am vaccinated .She continued You must wear it for my sake and old mother and Aunt's sake so that they will not catch the virus.

I asked her Didn't you get vaccinated?She said .No There is no data and I can't take the risk and i also have forbidden my mother and aunt from taking it.

Crazy woman.She will not get jabbed although she is a practising doctor and also prevent her older relatives from getting vaccinated but expects the rest of us to mask up for her sake Obtuse and mad people abound.

 On the other side ,a very old couple in thier 90's who are also relatives, who are not very educated have taken the jab.They had no hesitancy .They felt it was for their safety.

A woman relative who has married a Muslim had also come to attend the function.she and her teenage daughters took part in all the rituals including pouring the water sanctified by vedas on the couples head by holding the perforated siver plate along with other traditional Brahmins.Those brahmins didnt know about her conversion but the relative conducting the Sathabishekam know it and encourage her to take part in all rituals.She was stomping up and down the stage where homam was performed.She readily complies hankering for recognition and role in a community she had scorned in her youth placing Love and passion above our society[brahmin]and  converted to Islam adapted the ways of that community including cooking and eating non veg etc and i  lived meekly though a harrindan by nature with her husband and his family.I advised her to go for marriage underSpecial marriages act and avoid conversion when she came over for legal advise regarding name change . .But conversion was the condition laid by her m-i-l to marry her son .She told rudely at my advise i donot care for religion only for love! Her name was changed at the proper conversion ceremony before her nikkah.She even cited her lover [then] language viz Tamil as  a good ground and excuse to marry him'.He is not Urdu but Tamil'and cited it  as a good criteria for her marriage!Implying that having same mother tongue will over ride differences between the two religions!

Now at mid life she wants to take part in our social and religious functions though she is a Muslim, and lives off her muslim husband's livings.It is only one or two families from our large  circle of relatives who indulge her craving to take part in rituals.Others do not .Those who invite her make it clear that  she can attend our functions as an audience and take part only in minor rituals but cannot take part in main rituals.

Besides myself I asked her How do you pray Do you tell namaaz or whatever their woman pray.She said she would pray like a  Muslim in her husbands circle and here she will be a Hindu .She had come all the way from Dubhai just to attend this function.

 

She whisked out here smart phone showing how during recent  Siva ratri she and 4o other Hindus in dubhai including men chanted Siva ashtotram! and she does this regularily and was proud of it. I was taken aback and asked doesnt Azim her hub objecte to it She said no1He lets me do what I like.from the very beginning.

 

But the Taliban that is after me  wants to constantly throw a purdah on me , discourage me from visiting temples and give  fatigue beam during festivals like as if I have converted to Islam ! And spoilt my reputation just because i am friendly with my Muslim flat  neighbour.Even that friend ship was forced upon me by threats of audio micro wave ....                                                                                                              Here is a woman from my community who has converted to Islam actually done it but she is  let scot free at her keeness in taking part in Hindu socio cum religious events  and chant Sanskrit slokas.

 

She left our society  to become a Muslim for' Love ' but she can stomp around reciting sanskrit slokas with strange Hindu men on her free will ,craving now for Hindu identity and here i am forced into the company of Muslims whose company and recognition i  do not care for.If they come and speak or profess friendship straight face to face I have no problem talking to them but not to those who are doing  in this vile hidden manner through mobiles and overhead hidden cameras.Dumping god knows what into me, maybe their ire and frustrations  under the obscurity of such shady communications .The same applies to Christians and Hindus who are using mobiles and readers to invade my privacy ,watch my reactions and then provoke me to write .Have they no decency?If my writing is so important they can always come to  my house and discuss it and give me a choice to decide whether I should write for them or not.instead of attacking me slyily ,caring two hoots for human dignity.If this sly method continues one day or the other it will boomerang against them .I hope ,wish and pray that  it does.

It was this relative who was sure that my first son Vidat was done away with by youths of her community [she was married for 5 years then] when she came to offer condolences by saying" Since Vidat was getting too close to a Muslim girl[colleague] ,our Pasangas [our youths]would not have let it go unavenged."

She left exactly at 10 30 AM with a special good bye to me.

 

Vaccination.

In  March 2021 it was announced that henceforward seniors of 60 and 60 + would be vaccinated .I had this tiny teeny weeny bit of hesitation.The pandemic was over wasn't it ?The cases had fallen.Why should i go for vaccination?

I had very early decided to take the vaccination as it was my only ray of hope to regain my normal life so i was not going to back off..I had everything that the wretched Corona liked to make my life hell as per experts ,that is age and co -morbidities .If i had to escape severe disease, hospitilisation paying huge fees denting my savings i had to take it. I also had to take it be free from this abnormal fear gripping me and to become mobile and normal .I had to take it.

I remember taking some pox vaccination maybe small pox at school in my early teens.Doctors would come and inject the line of students in our hands .Then I would get fever and the two points of the jab festering into two huge boils disabling the use of that hand[owing to pain] for several days.I remember taking it twice with a gap of a year.

So getting vaccinated is nothing new to me . I had no fear or doubt because i was not innundated by flood of conflicting information from all parts of the world viz our experts would say it is good tho' quick every procedure was duly followed,then caution on adverse reaction,some would say foreign vaccination like pifzer, Moderna Sputnik, is good don't take our home made ones [tho'pifzer etc also did it quickly]beware of blood clots and so on , the way it is now.I was too young.The teachers told us to take it and we did .

Before taking the vaccine i had gone over a lot of information from tv and papers and processed it .thus--By the time our turn came several lakhs had taken it .There was news of 20 or so dying  a day or two  after  vaccination of heart attack etc. Was the vaccine triggering the heart attacks .Maybe.And it could be that they those persons were not aware of thier morbities and were not on medication .But I am on medication .so the risk my being one of those 20 is  very very low.

Next about adverse reaction-I read that only people with allergies get such reactions within half an hour .I have no allergies.

Should  I wait for 10 years when all every one is 100 % sure that these vaccines have no side effects.The manner in which many educated  people were willing to wait it out.For that i would have to lead a hermit like life with fear contracting the virus one day or the other.So spend 10 hellish years .There were many who feared the vaccine for its side effects more that continuing with this hermit like  lockdown life .

 

So i made my mind thus .If by freakish chance I get hit then either Vaikuntum or i ll be back soon in a younger and maybe a  better body.The other option was to wait it out and tie myself to my house for years  ,get obssessiviley clean, wearing  and tiring myself out .with fear ,suspicion and boredom and spend loads of money if hospitalised.

I decided that first option is best . My fear of the virus was more than the fear of the vaccine.And i am going to take the vaccine offered  here since it was said they were best suited for our hot conditions than pfizer etc .I preffered Covaxin not because , 'I am Bharatiya ' etc and all the other patriotic stuff but because I read that it was very effective against its Mutant in a study in Brazil.At that time that mutant didn't come home but what if it did in future so why not fortify myself now?

 

On 28 th Feb my hub went to a nearby private hospital and gave our names .I was surprised  on seeing his enthusiasm, since he never liked taking medicines or visiting hospitals unlike me.Times change .People change.Whilst I was sure that my turn of jab would come only next year he was confident of getting it on the first week itself!I thought he was joking .It turned out that he wasn't.

Next day March 1 st we waited for the phone call from the hospital as promised by them to inform us about the date of vaccination.It never came.

Having read papers and seen info on TV i told him that to get a jab regn on Cowin was a must .So he started the process on his smart phone to a portal forwarded by a relative from abroad.

He couldn't register and kept trying the whole day .He said the form filling was lengthy and it was not confirming.Evening I lost my patience and switched on my PC .I remembered having read that many couldn't register on 28 th midnight because they were using a portal for front line workers and ours was different one.

Chaffing at the Govt for making this process so complicated, that to for seniors who are not computer savy i found the website for seniors quite easily.

I was immediately asked to type my Aadhar card number and phone number .Got a OTP on my cell within seconds.I was asked to type it I did.It was very easy and quick.I waited for confirmation .It didnt come .So went through the process 4-5 times.No confirmation .So dropped it .

 Then hub rang up the hospital who said that they were vaccinating seniors and asked us to be there by 8AM the next day! 

I couldn't believe my ears .Weren't crores already registered and waiting ti be vaccinated.We haven't even registered.I had assumed that seniors were ready to pounce on the vaccination the way we did when it was announced .Not all are alike.

.

Nexy day reached the hospital by 7.30 We were the first The staff came later and a nicely dressed woman staff kept striding up and down.

we explained to those at the counter that we couldn't register at Cowin and would they kindly do it for us?One chap fed my Aadhar no: and said 'madame you have registered".So i did register the day before.

I stopped carrying my simple mobile long while back, after the ruckus in 2014.But that day i slipped it into my handbag when i left the house .And my hub forgot his .It was good thing that i took it as it was needed for further formalities and for the regn of my husbandThe amount was Rs 250 each.Paid it.

Two more people joined us at the desk , when that woman staffer shooed me away saying 'Don't crowd' in a stern manner.'Ironical .After a lapse of an hour that area around the desk was swarming with seniors and thier helpers and she couldnt say a word against them who were crowding and  jostling.

Soon more and more people came and there was all round confusion.The staff kept struggling with the computer and Net and Cowin .People pushed each other to reach the desk.seeing this melee i thought What guarentee is there that I won't catch the virus from one of these people?

Amid the teeming crowds of confused seniors and staff i got my BP checked .It was high as  I didn't take the tablet.The young thin dark girl checking my BP assured me that my high BP didn't matter! I had my doubts  neverthless I didnt want to miss the oppurtunity of taking the vaccination at the earliest.So i went to the room It was quiet and free of that milling crowd .A young nurse injected me from a small vial.It was pain less .I forgot to tel her my preference.She smilingly bade me bye.

When i came out waiting in the passage for my hub to have his shot I felt a tremendous relief.        Good bye to Corona .Goodbye to fear. It was so tremendous that i sent a sms to my son .

 

Nobody asked us to wait for 1/2 hour,we ourselves pushed through the crowd and found a empty waiting room and sat there.Then left for home.On coming out of the building saw a long queue of seniors winding upto the gate .Seeing such long q's on tv i felt that we seniors are much wiser than  the current lot .

 I felt great ! I felt that I achieved the impossible on the second day itself! All my calculations and assumptions were wrong .Thank God!

In the noon got sms from govt that we had taken first dose of and our next dose was due on 30 th March.

Evening the half dead virus or whatever was injected started to show its handiwork .I got slight twisting pain in my leg and also got fever .Took a combiflam and proceeded to cook the dinner .But felt heavy discomfort making me chide myself  for letting a virus that was some where outside forcibly into myself.and suffer thus.If this light viral fever was just a trailer what would the real one be like? Thus thinking i endured the fever and pain. Hub as healthy and jolly as ever. No reactions at all.

 

The pain and fever continued next day It was like viral fever ..On the 3 rd day it vanished and I was back to normal.

Then the wait for the second dose started .There was talk of extending the gap for the second dose by the Govt.I hoped that it would be after I took it .As per experts it was the booster doe that made the vaccine effective and 28 days gap was ideal.Plus I didn't want to spend some more months immobile and skeptical.

March 30 th came and we were off to that hospital.This time the arrangements were good .seating , , desk and vacination had lot of social distancing.

There were only a handful of seniors waiting  We were not checked for BP.Got the vaccine straight away after paying for it .

I asked the nurse what vaccine was she injecting .she said Covishield .I said I would have preffered Covaxin at the outset itself..She said there is  no choice, we have only covishield.and added that since Covaxin was introduced the second wave set in ! I was aghast at her lack of knowledge or was it pre judise?How can a vaccine trigger a second wave?

We got our certs in no time at the  vaccination centre.

This time I had no side effects .

So vaccination was over.Waited for 15 days for it to take full effect at the end of which we planned to go to Bangalore by train and not car .Wanted to rub shoulders with people happily .When the advised period got over and we were raring to take off lockdown was imposed first in Bangalore  soon followed by Tamilnadu due to the second wave..Shutters came down on us once more.So back to hermit life.

Announcement about vaccination.

 In January PM came on TV.to address us.He has grown a long snowy white beard  making him look like Bernard Shaw or Tagoreor Aurobindo Gosh..I hope he gets back to his trimmed beard days .He looks sad in that flowing  white beard and flowing uncut hair.[dirty Chinese] unlike his smart confident look earlier on with a good hair cut and trimmed French beard.

He was launching the vaccination first for the Doctors and health workers and then for us in March.He was in tears when he recounted the sacrifices made by Doctors and health workers whilst combating the Corona ,moving me also to tears.

In papers after two days the news came that there was very poor response to vaccination in Tamilnadu  .Doctors and nurses went on leave so as to avoid vaccination!

 I couldn't beleive it .I became furious when this trend continued for weeks!Whist the illiterate and lesser educated health workers up North were getting vaccinated the highly rational, scientific and educated Periyaar's children were dodging vaccine.Wasn't Chennai and Tamilnadu the most popular location for medical tourism in India and from foreign countries as well?If they avoid vaccine how would patients trust them?What sort of message were they sending,?That the vaccination lacks data and hurried and hence not to be trusted?

Epidemoligists, virologists and the head of AIIMS were clearly explaining on tv that vaccinations were safe and they were made within record time viz 10 months as against the usual 10 years  because there is world wide colloboration on all fields like research, raw materials, survey,sample etc with all beauracratic hurdles  swiftly cleared , as the times were witnessing a pandemic.Those experts also made it clear that any adverse reaction would be only within half an hour of taking the vaccine and that could be tackled since innoculation was arranged only in hospitals.

 

I felt ashamed of these highly educated Tamiliyans .I felt that I was being insulted .They had hurt me with their obstinacy .I couldn't stomach doctors dodging vaccine.I couldn't believe it.How ever there are exceptions Our family doctors took it and I was glad to hear it.

 

The silver lining is that when vaccination was announced for 60 + in March the opposition leader then as well as the then CM , took it and beamed it on TV advising people to take it .They restored my pride and made me sigh with relief..

 

Soon I stopped fuming over Tamiliyan doctors  for denting my pride .Ok  my mother tongue is Tamil  but it s at the hands of Tamiliyans I have faced maximum harrassment starting from my KG classes.

 

When we as kids would return home walking the distance from school ,suddenly a swarm of kids would descend on us from nearby slum in Adayar and start  hitting us .We would try and shield ourselves ,hit them and run as fast we could to our houses.This was  a regular farcas.

 Next when i was joined in a  primary convent school in IIT campus the dark Miss 'es [converted Christians]would constantly pick on me at the way I dressed , spoke ,ate ,studied the whole of 2 years I studied there.

Then in my early teens when I outgrew my younger Tamil friends[Non brahmins] and joined my age group North Iindian girls these Tamil girls who were still kids  would band together and follow me chanting abuses against me in the Govt quarters we were residing in Hyderabad.May be they were furious that i had deserted them.This went for years and I would just ignore them.

 

Next in Delhi when I was joined a school run by Tamiliyans the boys all non brahmin Tamiliyans would band together as a big group and keep on ragging me calling me abusive and degrading names .I ignored this also .though it went on through out my 10 th and 11 th classes.I didn't complain about it in the school nor at home.When board results came most of my harrassers failed or just made it whilst I came first in the school and got a rank in the state merit list with scholarship for graduate studies.That shut them up and made some of them to make friendly overtures shamefacedly.It was too late as  any  how we were all leaving school.

Now back in Chennai the ragging i was subject to from 2012 onwards beats all of them down.It was and is Mega!In this harrassment there were not only Non Brahmins and scheduled castes but also Muslims, Brahmins and Christians.All Tamiliyans.!Everywhere i looked persons whether from persons known to me in these  flats itself or from strangers on the road or train or bus or in the park or in the beach or temple or functions or shops from all theses communities would glare at me in a hostile manner spit on the road '.Neighbours would thump  and kick my ceiling when i was blogging.

 

This time too  i decided as usual to ignore it but complain about it in my  blog Sujataism .And I did.It was of no avail.I was just another blogger who asked for it.

It was only as late as 2016 that i realised that I should reveal my lineage.in my profile and I did.Had i revealed my lineage when I first started to blog in 2008 'maybe' I wouldn't have had such  painful treatments in 2012 and 2014 followed by  groupstalking and ostrasication.Maybe.

It is not that i have a criminal past or non entity status to hide ,in fact  I have a good past and a noble lineage .I saw many people never revealing even their names in their blogs who were scared to do so.I held back because I didnot want scare away the few viewers I had .I also wanted to test my individual capacity .and in the rush of things I just forgot about it.

So having received so much ragging teasing harrassment by Tamiliyans [Up north i was not ragged in packs by N.Indians  it was Tamiliyans who were ragging me there.] why should i care about them who have no pride in me and fume over them for insulting Tamil pride by their obstinacy,ignorance and prejudises.? 

 

So i dropped it and started calculating the date of my vaccination .

 

There are 30 crore seniors! Oof!The rate of vaccination per day then was very low, scarcely 2 or 3 lakhs all over India.

Even after seeing hesitation of well educated people I assumed that at least 20 crore 60+ would register on Cowin and I felt greatly dampened .What if Cowin regn was first cum first service basis.I would be left far behind  for not having nimble fingers.

At the rate of vaccinations done then , I calculated my turn to come after 18 months.That would be September 2022,if I survived.It amused me when the Govt insisted that 30 crore seniors would be vaccinated by September 21!

As per my calculations based on rate of vaccination per day , I was sure that I was in for along long wait so I started to get angry over Govt's control over vaccine.

 

Why can't it it be made available to Chemists?Why shouldn't I ask Medical labs workers  who come to test my sugar  at home give me this vaccination at home itself?If I can pay 3000 Rs per blood test once in two months would I shirk spending that much and even more for the much needed vaccine? Why shouldnt private hospitals , companies etc be free to purchase vaccines and make home or apartment visits ?An ambulance can be stationed to tackle adverse reaction if any.

What is this Cowin?Are 60 year old's adept in apps?Why burden us with this digital or net mania?Why can't the officials or those incharge  at vaccination centres make a entry in aregister after seeing our identification and allow us to have our innoculation.

Doesn't the Govt trust its citizens that it insists on Net Or do they want statistics?Then those making entry in register books can enter it in the computer.Thus i was thinking, dejected at the prospect of not getting a jab quickly.

 

 Then came the January 26 th horror that made me nearly to sob .The scaling of the flag post that PM's down the line since Independance have hoisted our flag.That monkey that ape committed the worst sacrilege .Why didn't the police stop him?At least with water cannons?As he kept scaling and skidding till he reached the top I kept hoping that some policeman would pull him down or thwart his attempts by using a helicopter..It didn't happen.When he took away our flag and planted some other flag I felt so totally violated that i closed my eyes and hid my face in shame with my hands ,unable to digest it.

I wasn't much bothered about the Redfort being over run by this mob.It has seen plenty of violence and bloodshed in the past .It is time that flag hoisting on Independance day is shifted to a pleasanter place like a garden.

 

By February the fear of Corona had nearly evaporated .The Govt declared 'we are pandemic free 'and I greeted this news with joy.

 

We patted our backs.'We Indians have built in immunity. since we have lived through scores of epidemics down the ages .The dirt around us to which we are so used since birth also has immunised us.where as in Western nations and US people were dying because of super cleanliness.And our food full of spices is another factor.The pepper , jeera ,  in our Rasam which we take daily kills that wretch when it tries to lodge in the throat.We have beaten it and driven it out.It has also got scared of our crowds and so on.

I saw busses plying with full capacity during my morning walks.Though I was a bit hesitant we even attended a wedding .All were moving around happily without masks.

Suddenly in the middle of Feb it was decided that we visit Tirumala for a special darshan .for which one has to pay 10,000 Rs  .This would allow us to very near the sanctum.It was not my decision as i wanted to move out to crowded places only after vaccination.Any way I complied.

During lockdown svbc channel was showing Tirumala .There wasnt a single person .It twisted to see this temple thus .There were minimum 50,000 devotees every day that it would always be a sea faces .I felt sorry for Srinivasar .He must be missing his devotees , thier ferverent prayers and the chant of Govinda Govinda ripping through the air and reveberating this valley by dashing off against the hills sorrounding it.I heard that leopards and bears were regular visitors in and around the temple in those days .They had Srinivasar all to themselves.Lucky beasts.Evey dog has its day.

There are hundreds of Vishnu and other deities temples in Tamilnadu that are bigger but do not draw this crowd .Srinivasar has this fame that if one prays for something and promises to pay for the results in any manner ,viz tonsuring head , walking up the steps ,so on, they are sure to get it.It has worked over the centuries hence this temple sees so much crowd.Even Krishna Deva raya the 15 th cent king would shower Srinivasar with land,gold and money after each victory in his battles .He must have prayed for victory .

 

I stepped into the tourist car with trepidation spraying my seat etc with disinfectants. We stopped at a hotel  for breakfast  Washes hands before and after,Then to loo an unavoidable place for diabetics Again sprayed my hand with a pocket size sanitiser.Several people around.All were cool and normal.Only I was cautious.The papers were still giving numbers of Covid patients .Though very less, what if by chance viz my bad luck I happen to come across one of them and contract the disease?It is a possibility.  Reached Trichanur .Again needed the loo My husband pointed to a public toilet saying that they were clean It was. I used it.

When I came out I told myself drop this fear .No one is fearing except me.So I very casually entered the Temple holding the rope held by many before me, jostled with the crowd for darshan, bent down on the ground in obseice my hands and forehead touching the ground trampled by the crowd of devotees.Did what every one was doing.Joined the crowd.

Went up to the hills.I disinfected the bed, door ,handle etc in the ashram.My husband laughed at me.Then we proceeded towards smaller temples.There was ahuge crowd on the steps leading to them.One chap coughed near me.I thought Oh my god I had it.Any way I would know it in 2-4 days time so forget it and enjoy the moment.

Next day reached the queue at 5 AM after bathing etc.I was in for a shock.The RS 10,000 per head special darshan queue was serpentine!There were nearly 2000 people.Most were of our age and well to do.I thought This is not aVIP darshan .The queue is as long as RS 300 ticket , the ordinary darshan queue.A small temple priests observation came to mind'last week there were more than 3000 at this q'.

I was amazed at the pull of Srinivasar.All those standing patiently in the line  were seniors  who must be having energy sapping life style diseases like BP , sugar etc leading a comfortable life but are up in this cold ,have bathed and were standing for hours in a queue for a darshan!

The q moved slowly .We were showered with disinfectant near the gate.Hardly a few seconds were allowed near the sanctum.The rude Jargandi viz Move Move by security guards  was substituted by a muted Jargandi by volunteers.That was the only difference .

 

How many ever times one visits this temple the magical moment of seeing the diamond studded gold crown and the face of Srinivasar with thick white Thirumun when He suddenly appears into view at the bend near Garuda's sannidhi is renewed freshly every time .Nothing can match it.

 

Then back to Chennai with stops at hotels.After leading a extremely hygenic life for nearly 11 months , all the precautions  went for a toss  in this trip .I stopped sanitising my hands after awhile.

 

I waited for 4 days .No fever. No cold.wow! So we made it .We beat the Corona or we were lucky.