I often wondered as to how just a few amongst crores of people who have lived and died over the centuries find a place in history and some of whom lodge themselves firmly in the memories of succeeding generations.There were thousands of kings, philosophers, poets,reformers but jut a few stand out.When i read history in college the enormous number of people who are recorded in history made my head whirl . But in popular parlance or common memory it is only few who stand out .What made them exceptional?Was it their energy to conquer kingdoms after kingdoms in case of kings or the courage of philosophers, scientists, reformers to stick to thier unique views on being convinced of its efficacy and truth in it despite having to face aggressive opposition .
I also wondered whether I would make it to this list in my teens!Will i make it to the pages of history?But there was nothing unique about me.I wasn't a queen or a bold activist or invented some new formula.Over the years i got over this yen and forgot it.
I again now wonder whether i might one day may make it to pages of history .Ego trip? Maybe .
OK if at all i do get recorded in history would it because of my lineage is unique [as written in my profile] so is hundreds of people in this country. Or would it be because by accident or fate whatever one may call it i came on the net in my middle age and started publishing my views.This is also nothing extra ordinarily unique.There could be persons older than me taking to the net to express their views.or maintain a blog etc as a memorial or as a tribute to dear ones who have passed away . Or would i be feted for translating some Slokas of Sri Vaishnavaite acharyas and Pasurums of Azhwars?The web is full of translations of erudite SriVaishnavaites who have attained knowledge directly from acharyas unlike me and maintain exhaustive collection of translations of Vedas, Slokas , Pasurums, Epics .Vishnu Sahasarnamum in superb English in a mission mode.So that is also ruled out.
But there is one unique distinction i do have as of now which could fructify my teenage fantasy.
Am i not the first woman to document or write and blog extensively and frankly about the no touch evidence less torture i was subject intensely in 2012 for 3 weeks and later in 2014 for 3 weeks by our own dear governments [micro audio wave torture and iron shower] when i was 55and 57 years old respectively and survived the attack on my nerves to tell the tale in my blog? That i retained my mental balance though every trick was tried to show me as a nut. Did i not and find out on my own from Net that such tortures do exist all over the world not only in Dictatorships but also in Democracies.The only difference is that in democracies some of the victims[ like a victim who was in US navy] who are aware of what is being done to them are allowed to write and blog and publish it.
Who knows one day or the other when the truth is out about how govt agencies target those who are embarrasing the govt or put it in a spot will be out , then i maybe celeberated as a Pioneer -the first woman victim of no touch evedenceless torture in telling the world and India the sordid truths of the deep dark state that is soaked with sadism ,.
I donot rule out the role of persons unconnected with the govt for deploying such weapons on me as well. Some of them are advertised in the net ,Their dirty deeds, exploitation and constant nipping will be uncovered one day or the other. Here to i will be the pioneer.
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