Sudarshana Homam.

 Attended Sudarshana Homam in Bangalore.It was conducted by the owner of a house  who was highly relived and thankful that his tenants who refused to vacate the premises several years after the tenancy agreement was over .had finally quit it after a long legal battle .He wanted to occupy the said premises hence he performed Sudarshana homam before doing so.

A huge square was made in the drawing room with bricks stacked one over the other It had a thick layer of sand at its bottom that covered the tiled floor.These bricks were decorated with small lines of  kumkum and turmeric powder.

I was taken aback by the size of the homa kund.I have seen only seen small portable cement bowl being used in here at Chennai in all  functions for homams ,whether big or small. ranging from marriages conducted in huge halls  to Davasams performed at homes,like we have at home[the annual homam propitiating pitrus via deceased anscestors].

I was even more surprised to see huge logs instead of the usual small twigs stacked in a corner.The Agni viz the fire would be a roaring one .! 

This was the first time that i was attending a Sudarshana Homam.

A tastefully drawn Rangoli in myraid of colours depicting the Sudarshana Chakra the powerful weapon of Vishnu/Narayana occupied a fair share of the dining room .It faced the inset puja room.An attendee commented that it looked like the map of India.Yes from a certain angle it did look like one!

Soon the whole house was over run by  Saivaite brahmin priests getting ready to perform the Homam.There wasn't even a single Sri Vaishnavaite brahmin priest though the homam was conducted by Sri Vaishnaviate owner for his daughter and son in law .a young Sri Vaishnavaite couple.!

The couple were asked to sit before the huge kund and a Brahmin Siva acharya sat by their side.They sat thus for 3 hours !I thought that since Smartha or Saivaite Brahmins are very thorough in Shastras and Vedas and Vedic rituals they were really were going the full hog .But others who have attended this homam earlier said that it does take 3 hours,irrespective of any Brahmin of any sect  presiding over  it.!

First the woman was asked to do archana of a small Ganesh idol placed at front of her near the homa kund with flowers so as to commence and conduct the homa without any obstacles.

Then the acharya chanted mantras that were aimed at driving wicked thoughts  evil spirits and disease that could be pervading the house.He chanted the mantras so lucidly that though i haven't learnt Sanskrit I could understand it.

He then asked 2 elderly married women who are not widows to drop the lit camphor burning brightly on the brick wall of the homa and not directly into it .I was asked to do it along with another woman.Unlike other homas where women directly drop the burning camphor into the kund and ignite the twigs here another priest pushed the camphor into the kund .and the mega homam commenced .

The husband was asked to repeat  the mantras recited by the head priest, on and off .His main ritual was to pour ghee into the kund.and to keep the fire alive.The acharya and all other priests chanted mantras in unison in loud voice non stop for nearly two and a half hours .Remarkable  memory and energy.None of them fumbled .

The head priest then invoked each of the  Nava Grahas like Surya etc requesting them to shower the couple and the house with auspiciousness.

Then he invoked Sudarshana by first praising him with innumerable Mantras from Vedas and then requesting him to drive away all beings inimical to the well being of the couple and the house .He sought this powerful weapon of Vishnu's to constantly protect the couple and the house.The Agni leapt .high!

Then some cooked rice was fed to the raging Agni .There was hardly any smoke !

The head priest took a small break to tell us few stories from Mahabharat relating to Sri Krishna and his weapon 'the Sudarshana Chakra.He spoke in Kannnada and requested that it be translated to those who didn't understand that language.Barring me and two others every one in that room knew Kannada as they were all born and bred there.

But I  could understand easily .First I knew all those stories.Second Kannada is similar to Tamil.Third he was telling it slowly and clearly.Finally in my distant distant past i had learnt Kannada in a primary school in Mysore as it was a compulsory then to learn it by all.

After completion of chanting Mantras a gong was struck repeatedly, hand held bells were chimed whilst the the husband showed camphor Arti to the Homam and then to the pictures of  deities in the puja room.with all of us standing with palms joined together in supplication .

The striking of the gong and chiming of the bells  amidst the aromatic flames leaping to the ceiling and the Aarti created a terrific effect and the atmosphere became electric with cosmic vibrations.

The Agni kindled in that homa kund would take two full days to cool!

And then i finally heard all the priests and the couple chant Narayana several times and then the Homam ended. Hearing  the  mantra Narayanaya  was nectarine.I felt deeply satisfied with my whole being suffused with delight . This was the desert , the icing .A delicious one.

Moments of humour through out the Homam  was the insistence of a elderly Iyengar woman.She asked the Acharya to recite Sudarshana ashtakam of Desikan or allow her to recite it .The head priest ignored her requests and went on with rituals and Vedic recitals.She sat at his front glowering at him with her big eyes smouldering like the Agni in the Kund  through out the 3 hours ritual.

It is the norm to start all homas in Sri Vaishnavaite-vadagalai sect functions to first pay homage to Swamy Desikan our Acharya, by chanting few Sanskrit slokas praising him.But this was  a  out and out  Saivaite show and the owner himself had organised thus , so how can one expect the contrary?So i found her insistence out of place and funny .

This Sudarshana Ashtakam are eight sanskrit slokas on Sudarshana Chakra written by Swamy Desikan  750 years back which is recited in Sri Vaishnavaite [Vadagalai] house holds by men and women to ward of disease and enemies.

According to some elders it was written by Desikan to  cure villagers near Kanchipurum of the mysterious disease stalking them and on invoking the Sudarshana Chakra they were cured of thier disease,Few other elders are of the view that Swamy Desikan invoked the Sudarshana Chakra with these slokas to help him to win a philosophical debate with Advaitins in Thituheendrapurum.[TN] and he won and established the primacy of VisishtaDwaita philosophy.

Most Iyengars recite this sloka and several others without knowing thier meanings and the context at which it was written .Hence her insistence and persistence to make that Siva acharya  to recite it  or allow her to recite it during the homam amused me .

Finally when the homam was formally concluded the head priest acceded to her request and she chanted the Astakam loudly to her hearts content along with us and few others.

Method has intensified and topics have changed.

 The change in Govt here at TN in May has brought the following changes---

1.Before my forhead was bombarded with thoughts of minorities and how they have short changed me .like attempting to convert me At one time I would get angry at one community and the next at the other.

Now my forhead is bombarded with suggestions ridiculing Modi and is stuffed with anti centre thoughts.

2.Before when i was doing puja names of gods of the two Abrahamic religions would be flitted into my forehead  .

Now some one is virtually having a conversation with me on news topic interrupting my recitation of slokas and meditations even during puja and stops only when i show aarti.

The topics have changed but method is same .It is so intense that it makes me to write on and on.

1500 views as on 20.12.24.

The second wave.

 When the news channels beamed the news that CM of Mahrashtra rang up the PM for supply of Oxygen and that latter was unavailable owing to his poling campaign in Benagal i thought that the CM was playing politics .The pandemic was over ,he and his alliance didnot want BJP to win Bengal hence it was a gimmic  

 fora week or so I had this view.but when I saw line of ambulances and people gasping for air and their relatives queuing for oxygen cylinders in Mumbai and Delhi I sat up.

The Govt assured that the PM though on tour was also handling the country.I accepted it.

Even here the election campaign was in full swing with huge crowds .They even gathered in large numbers maskless ,under my window shoving each other in their eagerness to greet the present CM who drove down slowly amongst them in a open van, late at night.They also gathered in large numbers to greet other candidates from other political parties.and listen to their promises .Election campaigns were  going on merrily as ever .Every thing seemed normal.TV beamed the large crowds attending the election rallies here and in various parts of India.A usual phenomenon.

I thought that it was short lived wave.Spurt and splutter down in few days time.But TV 's kept showing the desperation of families searching for oxygen, medicines beds etc.That was real .Something serious was taking place.

High courts after high courts passed strictures on the various state govts.policies and suggested and ordered remedial measures. .It was unusual since policy making is not Courts domain .Were they unnecessarily intruding into executive powers.My husband was livid at their interference.

The channels also showed PM addressing large crowds in lakhs in Bengal whilst experts were asking people to maintain social distance and wear masks.The relatives of afflicted patients were running hither and thither in absolute panic and anxiety.

That was when the image I had of PM being a man for Crisis broke.Yes it is the responsibility of state govts to handle the situation in thier states but it was very uncharecteristic of the PM who is known to tackle calamities quickly , and was always at the helm , to be engrossed in the game of power.

Was winning Bengal more important than tackling the virus re-stalking the country in a deadly manner?

At one point i even thought that the Chinese were spraying the new deadly variant from settelites or their representatives  the naxals were doing it on the ground to stop PM's winning streak.

What ever his adress to the nation  at that juncture was also not inspiring.He reffered to Bala mitras .Who are they/Instead of assuring the nation that arrangements about the supply of oxygen that was being done through special trains and about the import of the much needed concentrators [which was also being done] he was talking off tangent.I was very disappointed .

I felt that his image 'India First' was dented.Even my hub his sworn loyalist agreed for a split second with my view but quickly amended that his leader was like Valli who would turn any bad attacks on him to good and would emerge stronger.Just wait and see.

Then the centre allowed states and private companies to procure vaccine as the clamour for vaccine grew ,spear headed by opposition parties.Strange .The main opposition party  had earlier derided the Indian made vaccines as unscientific contributing to vaccine hesitancy  and now they were clamouring for more and for all !

I wanted privitasion of procurement of vaccines from the very begginning.but after i got both my doses in March itself  i lost interest in vaccination.But papers kept it alive warning or recurrence of the virus which could also attack the vaccinated unless 70 % of population is vaccinated and India gets herd immunity.

Then the tamasha rolled on that was to blacken all the faces clamouring for it including mine.No company  honoured the tenders floated world wide by State govts.The multi national companies were only willing to negotiate with the Indian govt.Meanwhile the Serum Institute head escaped to England fearing for his life .Vaccine had become dearer than gold.

That was the time that is when Foreign companies refused to strike deals with the states or private companies that the majesty and power and respect the Govt of India as against that of state Govts came to fore.

Earlier on the Covid head tried to explain that there was great demand for vaccines all over the world and there fore they were going step by step .No one paid heed to that soft spoken man Some .people weven thought that  bueracrats  known for their slow pace of work and some even known for corruption had thrown the hammer and brought about this scarcity and slow pace of vaccination.

Why was there such a clamour for vaccine in May whilst there was so much hesitancy to take it when it was first introduced in January ?The horrible pictures of asphixiation terrorised even the calm , cool and this will also pass hesitant group to rush to get vaccinated.  .To gasp for air which we take for granted is horrible .                                                                                                                                          The national TVshowed only Mumbai and Delhi and skipped showing Tamilnadu and other cities.The local TV's showed long line of ambulances waiting outside hospitals and people waiting in q for hours to get medicines for their relatives . 

One of the local Tamil TV channel showed a boy of 8-10 yrs of age ,shirtless and in knickers returning from a errand and on hearing the wail of ambulance to move his body flexibly synchronising with the ups and down notes of the ambulance siren .It was funny because he did it so well .He must have heard several such sirens to perfect that dance.

PM's next address to the nation in June was good  .He conveyed the message that he was taking control of things viz vaccination programme and that he was back at the helm.

My husband whistled and clapped his hands .and said 'You lutyens and [ i at times appear as  lutyyens and Congress  (though i am not a member of that party or any party )he dislikes] don't know my leader '.

.He works 24 hours a day silently.He never gets provoked by your toxic barbs.He is a Rishi He is a Swamy.If people reject him he will tie his clothes into a small bundle and retreat to Himalayas quietly without any fanfare  and spend the rest of his life in meditation.

.On yoga day-June 21  when it was launched the record 90 lakhs jabs took my breath away.It could be a flash in the fan , BJp states working hard to lift  their image.But following days the average was 50 lakhs per day .This is no mean job.

With the hope of this rate of vaccination continuing we may soon get herd immunity that will check  and banish this asura , devil ,demon and creep from China, from India forever.

State elections security.

 In the run upto the State elections in April 2021i shopped for Vegeatbles in my usual shop and was returning home taking the inner roads that winds around  a 3 star hotel .Opposite to this hotel is a community hall where people from hosing tenements conduct marriages and other functions.

It was also the place where a lot of migrants were locked up in nation wide lockdown.

In its parking lot I saw alot of men standing in rows .A man was whistling and shouting Left right etc and all the men obeyed him .I thought that they were the security guards of that hotel doing their drill.When I went to buy Butter milk as it was getting hotter and hotter from a milk parlour right next to that hall the sales man told me that all those men were from CRPF and they were here for poll duty .

I had a closer look .Most were light skinned men, must be North Indians  slightly plump with paunches and very homely looking.I came home and told husband  about this and observed  that may be CRPF kept thier best men for naxal operations and sent the older and less fitter ones for poll duty.

A day or two later I visited that parlour .The sales man a retired banker said that all the butter milk was sold out as the CRPF men were guzzling them in pints and described the manner in which a man made huge chappat'is daily in the morning patting them with his hands and the men dipped them in the butter milk and ate them and added humourosly 'These men eat like 'Vandi karan' ie like Cart pullers ie those who do hard physical labour, who would make huge mound of rice pour a little sambhar  or butter milk in it  and then finish of that huge mound in no time.That sales man asked do you know about 'vandikaran' I  smiled  and said ofcourse  my parents have used this phrase often to scold us  when we ate just one course in  big mounds of rice hastily.

He further said that he went far and wide in search  of the buttermilk which these men wanted and that he charged just 0ne rupee extra .

Then he started talking about Srinivasar 's umbrella that is sent from Chennai to Tirumala each year during Bramhotsava festival in there.He kept giving details embellishing it with a lot of stories from past .that included miracles .I wanted to leave after sometime but he held me on with his talks.It wasn't very interesting but I didn't want to appear rude so I kept standing and listening .

Looked around and saw a Muslim youth in white and white and cap sitting on motorbike at the turning .He was staring at his smart phone .Alarm bells rang.Was he innocent or was he dangerous to me ?But still i kept hearing to this salesman who had become suddenly very garrulous.Then two men from CRPF camp in civils walked into the  small shop blocking the entrance.

The one in the front was young ,dark and had a leathery skin.He was asking for butter milk .Something in his face  was very arresting.He looked extremely fit .He also looked fierce.He didn't look at me but his partner a older light skinned man kept staring at me curiously.OK this is what pairs /partners in my presence do .One will talk and other would stare at me.

The sales man said' No buttermilk".I saw a packet of lassi or curds on the rack and I told the salesman about it who offered it to that CRPF chap.Who took it and paid for it by taking a wallet from his pocket .

The sales man asked for a rupee more .I felt somehow, some thing in that youth despite his fierceness moved me and  i was very tempted to fish for it in my purse as i carry a lot of changes and was even tempted to pay for the curds but held back , that man was drawing a salary and he wouldn't like it if i did so. 

They left soon .The sales man said' Had you not pointed out the curds I would have sold it to you.'

I said' Oh no it is fine .I have plenty of curds at home, i buy buttermilk just for  its  taste .These men are up from North away from their homes ,quartered in this hall in this searing heat .Give them first .You did the right thing.'

Came back thinking about that dark youth with leathery face'.Was he a tribal?How would his mother look? Just then i saw a dark woman clad in village style sari .A rarity these days .Maybe like her?

Then i thought was this enacted for me That is showing me that fierce looking very fit CRPF youth for having made fun of their age and  paunches earlier on ?Or showed  me a sample of the young CRPF  men who were engaging naxals in forests and fighting them?Maybe..Or did they come down to block off that Muslim youth from me.Maybe .I have several times in past years seen bulky men or women come straight in front off me seemingly offensive and when i move to the side I would see men mostly youth behind some distance away look at their cell in surprise like as if it was cut abruptly and would go away with either a angry or disappointed look.Or did they just come down for some butter milk?As simple as that?

When i came out I didnt see that Muslim youth.He had left.

What ever that young man impressed me greatly and thought would the nighbourhood rowdies and anti social elements crawl under their beds in fear of on seeing him?Most likely .Even Naxals would. 

 i thought why should that salesman charge one Re extra? Maybe that would be his motivation to search far and wide for those bottles of thirst quenching buttermilk  .

Our polling station was near that centre. A lone CRPF man stood on the main road .There were onl;y police men and women inside the polling station

That fierce looking man with a very calm manner , two contrasting qualities  that was very appealing in that dark CRPF man was nowhere around .

Maybe that man with nerves of steel  was posted in a more sensitive area..

 

 

.

Scheduled caste the burden on my shoulders.

 The scheduled castes from lower strata often abused me .This is since childhood in here at Chennai.It reached its peak after 2012 .They did it in Blind school where I went to help and then on the roads and shops .The recent converts to Christianity were also very abusive.

Since I always had this pity towards them I ignored their hostile barbs and never took it to heart.With my fair complexion and handloom sarees it is easy to spot me as  a Brahmin.I' ll stick out in any crowd over here .I had discussion with  a scheduled  caste youth who was pouring his ire on Brahmins .I told him  in which Era are you in Is it Brahmins who attack you all in villages down south .Isn't it the non brahmins who are doing it . Are there any Brahmins left in villages these days ?Most of them have migrated to cities or abroad . He was'nt convinced .He said Brahmins would instigate and non brahmins would do the physical assault.I wasn't convinced .He was attacking Brahmins and not his actual aggressors since he was sacred to attack non brahmins. Brahmins are the whipping boys .There will be no retaliation from them how much ever they are castigated or abused.But it is not the case as far as non brahmins are concerned .They will give it back.

But there were highly educated Scheduled castes who were affluent who would seek out our company and treat us very well .They were proud of our friendship.But those at the bottom are extremely abusive.

Whilst some  Non Brahmins including my friends at school etc would sneer at me for being a Brahmin They were hostile but not abusive .They did not harbour the hatred that SC's had towards me.

I kept understanding their ire at us as my anscestors long back[centuries] have treated them shabbily for centuries and made them outcasts.They did not belong to the Hindu fold .They never had a caste hence were always treated as aliens. They are the fifth caste and so on .

Then i read some where that as per Shastras the Hindu fold or Sanatana Dharma recognises only four castse and they viz Sc's belonged to the fourth caste viz Sudras.This outlook  was novel to me and I didnot believe it.I always thought they had no caste and therefore not entitled to follow Hindu practises.

Won't the Sudras be offended by this new theory?Won't they protest violently at such a concept for clubbing SC's in their fold?

Then i googled for more information on SC's and came upon Wikepedia.In it it was written that Mahatma Ghandhi always considered SC's as part of Sanatana Dharama since they belonged to the fourth caste viz Sudras! If Ghandhi said they belonged to the 4 th caste then I who have great respect for the Mahatma have to believe it and I did.That relieved me and lifted the burden of guilt I was carrying for decades -nearly 50 years!

So why should I go on pitying those who are part of Hindu fold?viz Sudras  some of whom who have been kept at a distance in the past owing to their dirty and unhygenic proffesion.

If Ghandhi  says they are within caste then he is right and i will follow it.This happened during lockdown .So nearly after 50 years of guilt towards SC's ,a constant burden on my shoulders I shed it and felt free.

Tackling.

 During Lockdown i decided to start doing Yoga .To refresh my memory i looked up videos on Yoga in U tube and found Baba Ramdev's to be most authentic.from amongst the numerous Yoga teachers.

I had learnt Yoga in my late teens in a ashram in Delhi run by Dhirendra Bramhachari .I had perfected it to such a extent that I could float easily on my back in the swimming pool in Matsya asana posture. It is said that one could float on one's if one knew Matsya asana .I tried it and found it to be true.But over the years  my yoga practise reduced and after 2012 i totally dropped doing Yoga .Now with no outings and no blogging or writing i had plenty of time to think about myself and wanted to re start Yoga.

I refreshed many asanas from Baba's videos..After initial pain and a broken toe nail i became ok. To my surprise I found out that i still can do Surya Namaskar!There is a good video on it in Rajya sabha TV.Very instructive and useful.Now I do asanas, Surya namaskar and Pranayama regularily.

That Baba is really good at it .He enjoys doing it and is full of wit.During the second wave he showed the power of Yoga by getting his oxygen level slowly to 40  and showed it on  the oxymeter he used and then regained it and then  laughed and said what is this fear about drop in oxygen level see how one can control it by Yoga .I have heard that famous Hata yoga practitioners of past like BKS Iyengar could control and even stop their heart beats for few minutes .But at that time gadjets like oxymeter wasnot there to prove it nor live telecasts.Baba proved it using modern technology.He showed that he is a terific practitioner,. He also proved scientifically the benifits of practising Yoga. and that unbelievable claims made by sincere practitioners of Yoga is  not a myth.

On veiwing Ram dev Baba's videos I came across a video that said that some Muslim outfits had issued a fatwa banning  Muslims from buying Patanjali products which he endorses because they contain cow' dung and urine to which he replied that only very few products of his has such cows waste.I immediately looked up his products and found that his shampoo , tooth paste and soap were very popular .and they were making multi nationals in home products jittery.

On the way to the shop i purchase vegetables there is a shop selling Patanjali products with Baba's huge poster.It has been there for nearly a decade but i never went in because having used multinational tooth paste etc for decades I was wary of changing over to Ayurvedic products fearing allergy.

But when i read that Muslims are not allowed to buy his products I decided to shop  for personal needs .I was and am desperate to get rid of Muslims casing me , stalking me and watching me in my house.There are many others also casing me but I was going by elimination method .If babas products deter them then to baba's shop i will go .Then I looked up in net as to what repulses Muslims .one said colour red another display of hair.So I fished out all my red saris to be worn in my walks and outings and mental note to buy more Red saris blouses etc once curfew was lifted.

So I went to Baba's shop hoping that my very entry into the premises would repulse Muslims watching and  casing me . I donot know as to why they do it.Is it to influence me .I realised that they were stalking and casing me only after 2014 when my i  was deliberately made aware of .Till then I thought they were the normal pedestrians . In 2015 my suspicion regarding them was confirmed when I was walking to a hotel In Bangalore and a youth in white pyjama and white cap proclaiming his Muslim identity came walking towards me jauntily and did a swift Uturn and disapeared from my sight on seeing my key chain with Srinivasars tiny idol i was carrying for protection .I was wearing a sari and a big kumkum on my forehead and yet I donot appear like  Hindu woman ?This is what puzzles me .Are casers /youth brain washed to confuse me with his female relatives who must be wearing burkha head scarf etc and i do not .Only on seeing a idol on me that  they run and hide .That revulsion shown to the idol i carry  shows that they are having some ulterior motive towards me.They are not ordinary muslims and it was these  that I wanted to eliminate from my life.

So as earlly as 2015 I also bought a gold ring with Srinivasars  idol embossed in it and always wear it on my finger at home and also when i go out for protection.I also wear a gold ring with Mahalakshmi idol. Wearing Venkateswara ring is nothing new . i used to wear it in my childhood. I find it painful to dangle my key chain since the iron in it is used to give me pain in my knees and abdomen and so i only wear my ring.

 I wanted to try this latest ruse.So i entered the shop .I bought tooth paste ,soap ,shampoo , dish washing soap and agarbathi  .He has  soaps made of Panchgavya which is displayed separately and the phenyl made of cow urine kept in the back .I didnot buy them.Few days back i was surprised to see that TTD would hereafter make various  personal care products using Panchgavya viz five products of cow like ghee, milk, dung, urine etc and sell it in its counters across India ! So Baba has competition now.

I started using them .I like the paste with its taste of cloves. I didnot develop any allergy am still using them.I hoped that Muslim peeping Toms would get revolted and get lost.

I debated for long whether I should buy Cow urine phenyl .I heard that in earlier days people would run with buckets when they see a cow urinate to collect it and use it .One day i bought it .It had smell of urine which I didnot like but I wanted to get rid my hostile 24 hour s/7 stalkers so i took it down and sprayed it on my parking lot hoping that Muslims and Christian stalking would see it and become revolted .It got over in a month and I didnt have the stomach rather the nose to buy it again.

Then i tried my all red outfit and pony tail .I have long hair .One day when i was in this all red outfit  sari ,blouse ,and red coral chain a month or so back ,waiting in line to buy vegetables a couple came .The woman was in burkha and the man accompanying her her husband was wearing Red shirt and black pant .They stood next to me and were chatting making the point that red colour doesnot deter Muslims.They seemed normal so i didnt mind being near them then when i lifted my hand to smooth my flying hairs and adjust my sari that man in red made a quick get away.He had seen my gold ring with Srinivasar.So he was not innocent as he seemed .That woman in burkha stayed on . I didnot see that man again.

It puzzles as to why they expect a  woman like me a Hindu will not wear idols on me or pray before idols It is the most natural thing for me to do .What have they been brainwashed with?What do they think of me as ?A Muslim? Or a Christian?Some Christian women dress just like Hindus with sticker bindi on their forehead .Maybe some even use kumkum.or do they think that I have been absorbed into thier community or do they think that I have been converted to Christianity?Or are they just crazy?I have also seen poor Christian women who come near me in shops make a quick escape on seeing my ring.What is the notion about my religious identity ? What is going on?  it is constant casing.

                                                So red colour and pony tail is  not as effective as my ring and keychain with idols.

Then i tried my next astra both Muslims and Christians are allergic to cow excretions so why not rever t back to my early days of marriage when my m.i.l would ask us to mix dried cowdung powder in water and   sprinkle it  steps and  entrance before drawing Kolam?And also use it to clean table after eating.At first soon after marriage  i baulked then i slowly got used it and can handle it without any hesitation.

So during Lock down relaxation I went to nearby market in search of cowdung cake .The man selling it looked at me strangely .Now a days people even maids have started to use haldi to clean their entrances before drawing kolam.I brought it home and pounded it to fine dust and filled a transparent plastic bottle with it and placed it in my kitchen.

The first I do in the morning after coffee is to take several pinches of this holy dung and kneaded it gently and lovingly between my index and thumb and then mix it with water under overhead lights hoping Muslims and Christians viewing me would get revolted.I ll deliberately prolong this holy work .And then i ll sprinkle it on my entrance and at balcony near my kitchen and then draw kolam.with rice flour..

Then after having lunch i ll take a pinch of this  powder used as a sanitiser by our anscestors  and clean my table .I do all this very happily enjoying the discomfit it would surely cause those people peeping into my house.This may not revolt Hindus but   at least i can eliminate two others at least for few minutes and get the pleasure of revolting them.

 

 

Perverts in action --

There  is a elderly Iyengar couple roughly our age  right in front of my flat.I can see into their balcony and they can see into my balcony and dining room.

The man is fair, dressed in yellow dhothi, bare chested with punal and always looks slovenly and never looks bright.His wife is pencil thin, with huge bulging eyes , dark and with high pitched screeching voice.

This man will come out and stand quietly looking at the street[brought out]when ever A Muslim in white cap or lungi or in pant shirt passes by on the road and then trudge in .In the evenings from 4.30 pm onwards he will sit in his balcony gazing ahead .He will rarely ever look. at me.Some times he will glare at me which is also rare.This is going on since 2014.

The woman will come out only to glare at me.She will  come out [brought out ] when i sit near the dining table to roll cotton for wick for the oil lamp used in puja  or whist filling kumkum in its containers or when i sit cutting camphor into two to be lit in aarti at puja times..Her glare would be so intense that i will look up and see her glowering at me with hatred like as if I am doing something which I shouldn't be doing.Though I  am doing what she would be doing in her house.

 

Their balcony door would be opened  around 6.45AM when my husband wakes up and then closed at 6.45 PM.12 hours of duty.In 2014 that mild looking man would be sitting whole day on the balcony.After few years they have  this 12 hours routine.Are they brought out or are they paid to do this?Maybe both.They seem to be of poor means since they are  living in their son in law's flat .They must be aware of what they are called to do even if instantly since that woman's hostility towards me is real .It is abnormal as i have never offended her in any way and she is not the type to read my blogs..Her hatred vibrates through the intervening space between us.

She is a iyengar brahmin woman and not a Christian or Muslim woman to show her displeasure at my activities relating to puja!

But the perverts have made her the representative of Evangelists or Jihadists substituting her in either a Muslim or Christian woman's shoes.

She was so hostile for years that I couldn't smile or  converse with her.

 

So when ever i see this Iyengar couple I am supposed to feel that I am in vicinity of hostile Muslims  or Christians.and over the years with this repititive actions and glares I also started feeling thus.

Now after change in govt here at T.Nadu she has slightly mellowed but beats a hasty retreat on seeing me and never meets my eyes.