Till i got my vaccination life had become terribly scary.Scared of people, scared to touch provisions,scared to touch vegetables ,scared to touch anything and everything around me.Business men got a quick wind of this fear that was stalking a large number of people as i started seeing special sanitisers to wash vegetables , gadgets in ad's and in shops !
Before Corona struck sales boys in retail shops would beg me to buy sanitisers which i would look at disdainfully as another marketing gimmick and decline it. .But after Corona struck I ran from shops to shops to get my hand on a sanitiser.At first there was a shortage but slowly different brands of santisers in various sizes filled the racks .
I used to go shopping for vegetables etc to my usual shop with ofcourse a slight fear because other wise my husband would have to do it and I didn't want him to take too many risks.I would wash my hand thoroughly with sanitisers kept in those shops and come back and again wash my hands.So i did go out .But there were many of my age group who stayed stuck in thier houses for months, not even peeping out .
Whilst there was this extreme there was the other extreme who were living like as if there was no threat of Corona .They went out , kept their servants , put clothes to dhobhi,touched everything and were not finicky about it and let thier children and grand children play in the common area on the ground,.Nothing happened to them.
My fear of contracting Corona was not the fear of the disease.Despite my age and co morbidities I was confident that i would make it.Several of my relatives who were in ICU made it back.Nobody died.So what I feared was having to spend Lakhs of money on treatment just because somebody coughed or sneezed or spoke loudly near me .
As per relatives and friends one had to spend minimum 6 lakhs for a week stay in a good private hospital What if i was there for a month?I ll be spending all my money whether i live or die.If i survived I would have to live with a very tightened fist.I may lose my monetary independance and that was a daunting thought.
With interest rates nose diving each day from the standard 9 - 8 % to 6 and 5 % even the money i get from FD's now, will not be handful.
Secondly in these busy days i can't expect my son or daughter in law to take care of us weakened by the virus, for weeks together. They have to earn for their lives in another city and they have a hectic schedule. .Moreover hiring outside help is also not possible since it is such a disease that every body wants to run away from it.Nobody would come near us even for money..
These were my 2 great fears .I didnot fear the disease but only its repurcussions.
I have survived chicken pox, malarial attack, typhoid, jaundice,dengue and atypical pnuemonia[ which is similar to Corona].But i was younger then ,but the mind refuses to acknowledge that body grows older and weaker with age.Hence I actually did not fear Corona.
I felt immensely relieved when i got my first dose and then i took the second dose and was raring to travel after 15 days when lockdown was announced by this and neighbouring states due to second wave.When i lost my fear and wanted to get back to my normal ways these lockdowns/curfew shuffed it all out.
Life became boring.Being locked up once again sapped my enthusiasm to shop and the energy to arrange conveyance.A lassitude set in with the feeling why shop? Why travel?Days and nights are moving as usual.This life is ok now.Got used it .Why trouble myself with travelling, shopping etc?Eat, walk , do yoga recite slokas watch TV and U tube, read a bit and sleep.Simple life befitting my age..
Another paradox is that some of my relatives of my age and even older who were very active throughout lockdowns without a inch of fear ,leading a very normal life suddenly lost their confidence after getting vaccinated!
The stopped some religious ceremonies and visiting temples though some norms were relaxed.Maybe they feel that by taking vaccine they have lost control over their bodies.Strange.Whilst i gained my nerves they lost theirs! Comic.
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